


Going Under

by LadyGinoza



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Alternate Universe, Assassin AU, M/M, thats not even considered a spoiler, tougane dies because hes a little bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-03 14:11:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5294204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyGinoza/pseuds/LadyGinoza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginoza is a hitman for hire at the right price. His latest job is without complications, most he's unprepared for...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** Chapter 1 **

** Ginoza **

It’s not always easy to take someone’s life, not everyone can do it and some who can just can’t quite cut it effectively. If it was that easy to do, everyone could simply do it and my job would have little to no value in the eyes of others. It’s not just about putting a bullet in someone’s head. It’s much more than that. It takes precise calculations and careful planning, taking another’s life is an art and it must be treated with uttermost delicacy.

There are certain methods that I prefer most, like the long distance kill for instance is my go to option. It allows me to keep my distance, it’s a clean death, it minimizes the chances of injury to myself and I can make my get away that much quicker and easier without raising any attention to myself. However, this option isn’t always possible and sometimes I find myself having to get close and sometimes a simple bullet to the head just won’t do depending on the job request that I was given or the circumstances that I’m faced with.

In the end it really doesn’t matter what is the job or who I have to kill, I never miss my target. I don’t care how long it takes me to do my kill, it could take a few days or a month but ether way I’ll get you and before you even know what’s happening you won’t have to worry about your problems any longer.

To be honest, this job took much longer than I had first expected. I couldn’t get a good visual of my target long enough to get a direct hit while using the long distance approach and there was no way that I could have sneaked in to get close to him either.

I’m not sure if he had known for some time that he was being targeted for dead or he was just simply a paranoid individual but his security level was high and his men were clearly well trained which proved to be quite the challenge but in the end I still managed to get my target.

I’m good at what I do; I have no problems in taking another person’s life. It doesn’t matter who they are, what their gender is or how old they are. A target is nothing more than a target. Whether you live or die really doesn’t bother me in the slightest.  As long as you meet my price, I’ll take the job and then just make sure to get out of my way.

Things always feel strange when I return home after completing a job. Everything is always exactly how I left it and it’s not like I even expect that something will be out of place but it never truly feels like home. It’s hollow and empty and yet it’s modernly stylish and well-furnished but that’s all it is…

“You’re back, but you really should start being a bit more careful before you get a bullet in your head.”

I want to laugh at that comment but I don’t, it’s not like I wasn’t expecting Shimotsuki to be sitting at the kitchen table in the first place and it’s not like I wasn’t expecting her to scold me for my carelessness when I arrive home either. I knew she was here the moment that I entered the house, unlike her I pay attention to every small detail. I have to, otherwise I wouldn’t be good at what I do and spotting the smallest of details will often save my life and make my job that much easier.

“Yeah…” I mutter back. “Like that’s ever going to happen.” I add before sitting down in front of her and besides I know better than to leave any traces of myself behind on a job, I know better than to leave witnesses alive that could identify me. I’m not that careless and besides if I get found out, Shimotsuki will be in danger just as much as I will and for her sake I can’t make that mistake.

“Right…” She agrees with a slow nod. Clearly not believing my claim but she doesn’t seem to want to start an argument tonight which I don’t mind, I’m not in the mood for one after the job that I just did.

“I got you something, a welcome home gift.” She blurts out, her smile a bit forced as she presents a bottle of wine.

“Thanks…” I mutter, looking at her oddly as I accept the bottle.

It’s a very good year, well-aged red wine and obviously of great quality. Not bad… However, a welcome home gift is rather unusual for her, especially since she’s just my agent but with the years we have grown close.

Shimotsuki is the one who manages my client list, decides which jobs are more promising and more profitable and then she’s the one who has the job of gathering the pay load. She also has the task of forging passports and booking places for me to stay until I can finish the job that’s been assigned to me. Basically I do the work and she manages everything else, everything that’s involved with money and massive paper work, she takes care of it.

“The price has been paid in full; I took the liberty of taking my percentage already. Everything is on the counter, minus the amount you wished to have placed in the bank so you don’t have to bother with that. I took care of it.” She tells me.

Shimotsuki always does more than she needs to especially since she’s just my agent, often it feels like she’s more of an assistant of the sort but I couldn’t ask for a better agent. As much as I hate to admit it, without her I wouldn’t be able to function properly. I’m too used to having her around, to manage all of my affairs.

To say the truth, she’s becoming a weakness; I should get rid of her for my own safety because she knows way too much already. She’s a dangerous liability to my survival but I still trust her even though it makes absolutely no sense. I trust her with everything in my affairs but I don’t have any feelings for this woman and I know for a fact that she doesn’t hold any feelings for me either. Everything is platonic and professional on both our ends.

“You didn’t have to do that. I would have managed.”

The look she gives me clearly says it all that she didn’t buy my lack of effort of a lie but she doesn’t comment on it and that’s how we often leave our arguments. We just know each other too well at this point, it has come to a point that we just know what the other is thinking without saying a single word. We’ve become just too familiar to each other…

The thing is that we’ve worked together for so long that we just know each other’s habits and that in turn helps us on a professional level. Shimotsuki can better choose job requests that I’ll be able to handle more smoothly without problems but sometimes I still land some problematic ones just like the one that I just did but there’s something that’s lurking in the back of her mind. I know so just by the way that she keeps staring at me and her body language gives away that she still has something to say.

“What is it?” I ask and her facial expression suddenly changed as if she was just waiting for me to ask a question in order to give her a green light to bring forward whatever she had on her mind.

“Look I don’t want to tell you how to do your job but…” And here it comes… It shouldn’t come much to a surprise that the results of my job has reached her ears already and of course she’s not done, “That was quite the body count on this one, Ginoza. We were just being paid for Tougane, was it necessary?”

The thing is that I couldn’t get to Tougane, it didn’t matter what tactic I tried I just couldn’t get to him without spilling more blood than needed. He had hired special mercenaries for protection, those men were highly trained to protect him and there was just no way for me to get to Tougane without eliminating the opposition along the way first. It was kill or be killed.

To me honestly, it didn’t matter that I had to kill over twenty men in one night; all that matters is that I left no one alive who could have seen me, who could have identified who I am. I eliminated any possibility of being identified and become someone else’s next target. I killed my target, that’s all I care about; I don’t care how many I had to kill. I accomplished the task that I was given and now it’s done and over with.

“It had to be done.” I tell her briefly.

“Did it?” Shimotsuki asked raising an eyebrow, not really buying my answer to her question. “Ginoza, did it?” She asks again.

I don’t expect Shimotsuki to understand what my situation was. Sometimes things just don’t go as planned and you have to modify your tactics on short notice in order to succeed. That’s what happened on the last job, I couldn’t afford to waste too much time, I could have been spotted and I would have seemed suspicious to his personnel. It had to be done.

“There was no way I could have gotten close enough to Tougane without being seen and besides they were trying to kill me.” I further add to my defense.

“Of course they were, you were trying to kill them so what did you expect? Anyway as your agent I am obliged to tell you we just got an absolute fantastic new offer but that last job, well I think you need a break.” She further tells me and I can’t help but sigh as she recommends that I take a break from my job which I don’t need in the slightest and the fact that I have another job offer already waiting for me doesn’t come much to a surprise. That’s how it always is. I do a job, come home and then another one is already waiting for me to take and then I’m off to the new job and that’s how I prefer things to be.

“Is it worth the pay load?” I ask, ignoring the break offer.

“Well yeah, the pay load is huge for just one target but Ginoza, you’re about to crash. You can’t keep this up, just skip this one. They’ll give it to somebody else.” She answers.

She should know better by now that no matter how many times she tries to persuade me into taking a break, it’s not going to work. That’s not how I work. I don’t take breaks because there’s no room for it. All I have is my job and nothing else because in the end that’s all there is. My job will never leave me when everything else does, in the end all I have is my job. It’s all that ever remains.

“They won’t pay that much to somebody else.” I tell her the rather obvious thing.

When it comes to killing people, it’s not about bragging or being overconfident in my skills. I’m good at what I do, and I don’t miss my target. When a client hires me for a job, they can be confident that the individual that they want dead will die. My reputation isn’t empty, my reputation guarantees success so my price is high but I know they wouldn’t pay such a high amount for another. That I know as much.

“You’re right, they asked specifically for you. The location is in there, I’ll call you when I get the target but it should relatively be easy.” She says and I want to wince at not knowing who my target beforehand but it’s not uncommon. I’ve had many jobs like that before. They give you a price and a number of targets and if you accept then you get the names a couple of days later. It’s a way for the client to make sure that the targets do not get warned beforehand, that there is no possible way for them to survive the assassination attempt, meaning that the client is also very desperate to have the target killed.

“Yeah…”

“Get some sleep; you have to leave first thing in the morning for Japan.” She adds before getting up and giving me a light pat on the shoulder and walks away.

I take out the file from the large yellow envelop that Shimotsuki left on the table. The pay load offer is two hundred thousand dollars for just a single target; it’s double what I ask for so the client has to be very desperate for wanting this individual killed. Most of the time my targets are people who don’t even deserve to live, they are some of the biggest crooks in the world so killing them just makes it ever the more easy to do. This one will be just the same.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**XXX**

“The client says that he needs you there a couple of days early.” Shimotsuki tells me over the phone but she sounds like she’s also doing something else at the same time. I can tell that she’s a bit distracted and from the tone in her voice she’s still probably hoping that I'll drop the job.

“Why?” I ask, trying to hide my annoyance in my tone.

“No idea. He said that’s part of the deal and that he wants you to wait.” She answers which doesn’t help to reduce my annoyance at all but rather fuels it instead.

“I just want to get this over with; you know I can’t sit still Shimotsuki.” I tell her and not to mention that Japan is the last place I want to be right now.

I lived my whole childhood dreaming of leaving that country behind and then I pretended like the time I spent there had never happened. I never thought that I’d ever return, actually I never wanted to return but here I am returning where I came from. Not sure how I feel about that…

“Ginoza you have a five days waiting period, take that time to relax and unwind a little. I hear the view in Japan is gorgeous-”

I hang up the phone before Shimotsuki can finish telling me her story, not that I wanted to hear it to begin with. These waiting periods are not going to be spent as if I’m on a holiday and it’s not something that I expected her to understand either. The moment that I set foot onto Japanese soil, I enter into enemy territory. My client is just as much of a danger to me than my target is, there is no room for relaxation and until my target is dead, the clock is ticking and only then can I relax and not before.

I didn’t want to leave Italy for Japan but it wasn’t just because of going back to Japan per say, it was the fact that the location in my contract was for me to go to the Okinawa Prefecture in the city of Naha. In a single job I’m returning home, never would I have imagined that I’d be returning this way. That I would actually get a job to kill someone on the soil that I grew up on and got sick of.

The day that I got onto the ferry to go to the mainland was the best moment of my life and then I got onto a plane and never looked back and now after so many years that have passed, here I am returning on the same ferry when I had left.

The mainland has changed, the years have aged it well but the further I’ve gone south as I entered the Okinawa Prefecture it hasn’t changed much. It has evolved to fit the current age but it’s still the same as ever. It is quiet and boring with nothing to do so my waiting periods are not going to pass quickly.

Shimotsuki however, was able to book a beach house for the month though and like always she managed to get one that is away from any other housings. That way I’ll be able to concentrate on the task at hand, I won’t have to bother about the possibility of catching someone’s attention too much and things should be somewhat easier. From the address of the house I know it all too well, it’s a house with its own private part of the beach, she’s still trying to get me into a vacation, she just doesn’t stop but I have to give prompts to her effort.

The only bright side that I have about having a job here in my own home is that I know this island by heart. It doesn’t matter how many years have passed, I know the main locations and events and point bonus I’m Japanese. That alone will allow me to blend right in without attracting too much attention onto myself… 

When the ferry finally docks, I waste no time getting off the platform. Avoiding any eye contact with anyone and head straight to the beach house. The last thing I want to do is to converse with the people around. When the target is unknown right at the start of a job, the last thing you want to do is to jeopardize yourself right before the job even begins.

Just like Shimotsuki had said, the beach house has been well kept and there’s nothing to do with it and it’s completely ready to move in much to my pleasure. The last thing I’d want to do is have to tidy the place up before I can settle in. All I want to do is to get ready and start planning my possible locations for my kill.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Ginoza**

Two days have passed since I arrived on the island and the beach house is completely quiet, waiting patiently for Shimotsuki’s call but it never comes.

The first day that I arrived I had at least something to do to kill the time. I unpacked my belongings and set them up in order but after that was done there was just so much I could do to memorize the layouts of this house in case I need to make a quick getaway or fight off an intruder. Now I have absolutely nothing to do and that alone is driving me crazy but I can’t let this stillness affect me. My mind has to be clear and focused; I can’t afford to slip up now, not at the start at least.

I have to give it to Shimotsuki; she did choose a great location for me to stay in for my waiting period. Like always I had expected as much from her, she always gets me the best possible locations no matter how short notice some of my job requests can be at times.

I may be good at killing people but she’s also good at what she does, I couldn’t ask for a better agent then her. Actually the last one that I had, I needed to silence them up permanently after I learned that they had more than one client like myself and that’s not good. An agent who is willing to have more than one client in this field is without a doubt shady and clearly up to something and once they no longer have any use for you they are the ones who end up putting a price on your head.

When Shimotsuki isn’t working on finding me jobs and managing my affairs she’s a realtor and after a few years of being my agent, she was able to found her own realtor agency thanks to her share of profit that she received from my jobs. In turn this allows me to move around much more efficiently by passing as a simple realtor agent inspecting promising housings to sell for the agency.

In a way I guess that Shimotsuki did win her point a little by wanting me to take some time off, that’s all I can do at the moment but at least I have a spot to meditate on the beach without having to go very far from the beach house. The least, I have that so things could always be worse.

I close my eyes and take deep and steady breaths, listening to the waves of the ocean and feeling the gentle breeze on my skin. I feel at peace in this very moment, listening to my surrounding calms my mind and calmness is the key to anything. As long as you’re calm and focused on the task at hand, nothing can go wrong.

“Hey, hi!”

I open my eyes at the sudden voice of a man who was now standing not too far from me and I can’t help but wonder where he even came from. Only a few minutes ago there was absolutely no one around, it was only me surrounded by nature so which bush did he emerged from out of nowhere?

But still… I was so focused on listening to the waves of the ocean that I failed to notice that someone came lurking right beside me and I didn’t even notice until he spoke. A small mistake like that could have cost me my life if that would have been the wrong person, I’m being too careless.

Either way I can’t tell if he’s a native of this island or just a tourist. I know for a fact that I’ve never met him before when I used to live here. He might be a tourist or he moved here sometime after I left but there’s no way I could forget a Japanese with piercing blue eyes like he has, it’s not a common Japanese characteristic so I would indeed remember someone with something that unique and I don’t recall ever meeting a blue eyed Japanese before.

Even his build isn’t common for a Japanese either; for one thing he’s taller than average and he’s quite muscular too. Actually he’s larger than I am. I sure wouldn’t want a physical confrontation with this one. I’m fairly certain that he could overpower me in terms of brute strength if it came down to a fight, my only chance of winning would depend on my agility and even then it’s not exactly certain of victory on my part.

“Sorry to bother you but you haven’t seen a dog lurking about around have you?” He asks, taking a few steps closer.

“No, I haven’t.” I answer with not much care in my tone but it’s the truth. I haven’t seen any dogs around since I got here and I haven’t heard any barking either but somehow I feel as if there is no dog and this was just an excuse to come and talk to me.

So… I’ve already been noticed around here. It’s not too surprising, this area of the island is small, and everyone simply knows another but I don’t want to attract too much attention to myself so this isn’t good. I don’t want my face remembered when I leave, the less people that sees me the better.

“Sorry to have bothered you.” He says and I resume my meditating for a minute before looking back up to see him still standing there. He hadn’t budged a muscle and was still staring at me with a grin on his face. Obviously he still has something else to say. Getting to the point of why he approached me in the first place probably.

“Hey are you the new tenant that’s living there?” He asks pointing at the beach house that I’m currently residing in.

“I am.” I answer, placing my hand above my eyes to create shade from the blinding sun so I don’t have to squint my eyes. If only he could move his giant ass to block the sun, oh well…

“Well everyone on this beach pretty much knows one another and we’re having a bonfire tonight. You’re more than welcome to join us.” And there it is. He came all this way just to invite me to a social gathering. It’s rather pointless and a complete waste of time, I’m not interested in the slightest and I’m starting to hate having been noticed already so early but they’re just common folks, nothing more so I don’t have anything to worry about but it’s still annoying. It’s disturbing my thoughts and quite frankly I don’t have time nor can I afford to attend social gatherings at this time.

“I’ll have to pass; I’ve got things to do.” I quickly answer, hoping that will be the end of it and he’ll leave me alone but of course he doesn’t and I have to stop myself from sighing out of annoyance.

“What could you possibly have to do? We’re on an island and holidays are coming up so there won’t be anything to do for days.” He tells me, never removing that grin off his face as if he thinks that I forgot about the events to come in the next few days.

To be honest I did kind of forget but it’s coming back to me after he just mentioned it. Today is the twenty-two of December which means that tomorrow is the Emperor’s birthday and then the preparations of new Year’s Eve will commence and then New Year’s… Just pointless holidays, those days are not of any difference than other regular days which only serves to mark the end of a year and the start of a new one…

With this waiting period it won’t give me much time to get my target before New Year’s Eve and not to mention that the streets will be busy and full of people. The ferry won’t be in function much either and that’s not even knowing if I’ll be able to get close enough to do my kill in such a short period of time. I completely failed to look at the date before departing; this could come biting me in the ass later. I can’t just leave the country as quickly as I had originally intended and that can be quite of a problem. I’ll have to make this kill look like an accident; I can’t raise any suspicions with the local authorities, I just can’t afford that.

“We’re all expecting you to show up-”

He cuts what he was saying short when he suddenly jolted his foot upwards and fell on his behind when he went to walk away. It didn’t take long for the sand to start getting drops of crimson and I quickly jumped up to my feet to see his condition.

“Are you alright?” I ask him.

I know that I shouldn’t have asked and simply just ignored him and his misfortune. I shouldn’t get involved with the locals around here but I can’t just ignore an innocent who’s injured either. Even if he did annoy the crap out of me, I can’t turn my back on him either. I would feel terrible for the rest of the day if I didn’t make sure he was at least alright…

“Argh, broken glass. Shit!” He says, not exactly telling me if he’s okay or not and quickly pulls out the glass shard out of his foot before I can even tell him not to which only made his bleeding worse as more stained the sand in spots of crimson.

I sigh at his sudden action. Now that was just plain stupid. The glass shard was actually stopping the blood from pouring out; some people can be so clueless at times. It’s a wonder how many of these people are still alive and haven’t killed themselves in their own stupidity.

“Come on before you bleed all over the beach.” I tell him, pulling an arm over my shoulder and pulling him to his feet and using myself as a support only to regret it early. He’s not just larger than average, he’s heavy too and leading him to the house and into the kitchen required more effort than I had originally thought.

I pull out a chair for him to sit down before walking away to the bathroom to get my first aid kit and some damp washcloths to clean the wound with before returning and the first thing I spot is the drops of blood on the floor and I have to shake off the thought about having to clean that up later and just concentrate on the task at hand.

This is why you do not walk bare foot on the beach is what I want to tell him but I don’t and instead I hold my tongue as I inspect the wound. It’s a bit deep but not deep enough that it’ll need stitches which he’s lucky for but what he’s even luckier for is that there doesn’t seem to be any sand stuck in the wound or fragments of glass in it which is great.

I take a washcloth and start cleaning the wound, careful not to irritate the skin around it and when I finish cleaning the wound. I take my second washcloth and wrap it around the wound and start applying pressure onto it to stop the bleeding before I can actually administer antibiotic cream onto the wound and only then I’ll be able to bandage it up and he’ll be good to go.

“Are you a doctor or something?”

I look up to meet his gaze and even though he’s bleeding and I’m sure it must be somewhat painful he still has that same grin on his face as before. Actually he seems to be more interested in me than the fact that he’s currently injured and bleeding and that he dirtied my floor with his blood. If he is in any sort of pain, he hides it very well because I can’t tell.

“No…” I answer, returning back my gaze onto his foot.

“Are you sure? You know exactly what you’re doing, like you’ve done things like this before.” I have to fight the urge to look back up at his sudden comment and I’m starting to wonder if he’s actually on to me or not. If it’s just plain coincidence or he’s just being a friendly neighbour trying to get a conversation going but I’m starting to have odd feelings about this job. It’s taking too long to get a name and this guy is starting to get on my nerves, well not really but there’s a tension that’s making me feel uncomfortable and I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.

“Can’t hurt to know first aid…” I blurt out, never taking my attention off his foot. Not wanting to look him in the eyes as if I’m afraid that he’ll be able to figure me out in an instant if I do.

“Can’t argue with that…” He says and adds, “I’m Shinya Kougami by the way and you are?”

More questions, and questions and questions… What’s with this guy? Constantly inquiring information about someone who clearly isn’t interested in the slightest? I’m not trying to get a conversation going, clearly he must see that I’m not interested in socializing with him or his group and yet he doesn’t stop. Is it that he just doesn’t care about what I want or he just doesn’t notice that I just want to be left alone? I can’t read this man but if I don’t answer him, he might become suspicious and then I’ll be in big trouble.

“Ginoza…” I blurt out in a low tone as I carefully remove the washcloth and I‘m satisfied with what I see. The wound as stopped bleeding but it wouldn’t take much for it to start again so I have to be careful.

I take out the antibiotic cream and apply a generous amount onto the wound, making sure it gets into the open cut for maximum efficiency and then I carefully apply a compress, tape it in place and then wrap the injured foot to secure the compress in place so it doesn’t move around and if the wound does start bleeding again, the compress should help to absorb most of the blood.

“Ginoza?” He repeats and I know why. He’s waiting for my full name but we’re in Japan, I’m not obliged to give him my full name unless I wish to. We are not friends or acquaintance after all and therefor I don’t have to give him a reason for not disclosing my full name, it would be disrespectful on his part.

“Yeah…” I say as I finish applying the bandage and pick the first aid kit up and the blood stained washcloths and bring them back to the bathroom.

I grab a hand towel before returning back to the kitchen only to find this guy named Kougami is already cleaning up his blood on the floor with one of the kitchen towels and places it on the kitchen table when he’s done and then turns his attention to me, careful not to put much weight on his injured foot.

“I didn’t get your first name.” He says.

“I didn’t give it.” I answer back, hoping that he’ll finally get the message.

“Fair… Thanks for treating my injury; it would mean a lot to everyone if you showed up tonight. Have some fun; get to know your neighbours a little.” He tells me as he backs away to the door in a limp, never removing his eyes off me.

“I’ll think about it.” I reply shortly but I already know what I’ve decided.

He gives me a smile and I force one back in return as he leaves the house and finally I can breathe a little. I don’t know if he was just being friendly but I can’t stay here too long, I need to do this job and be done with it. The sooner, the better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Kougami**

Ginoza… That guy…

Before I left he said that he would think about it but I should have known that he wasn’t going to come. He only said that because he knew that’s what I was hoping he’d say and even though I knew that he wouldn’t show up I still waited for him anyway but the night passed, everyone retreated to their own homes, giving me apologetic smiles and the night ended without seeing his face.

I’m a total fool…

I put my foot in my mouth and quite literally too in a bloody mess.

Who am I kidding with…?

I was already screwed even before I cut my foot. That was just icing on the cake and adding the cherry on top.

Before I left home, I had everything all perfectly planned out in my head. The plan had been simple too. It was simply just to walk up to him, invite him to our good bonfire and then use the mood of the night to charm him up a little. Maybe get something a bit more out of it, maybe get something started between us.

I don’t know, maybe I had a chance with Ginoza but considering what happened yesterday I think my chances are pretty dim at the moment. I sure as hell didn’t impress him in the slightest.

The thing is that he didn’t say anything other than answering my questions, that’s the thing that bothers me the most. Even when I approached him, he was just sitting there with his eyes closed. Actually it looked like he was meditating or doing some sort of yoga. Anyway even when I got his attention, he didn’t even seem interested to even bother to get a conversation going with me and I felt like he just couldn’t wait until I was gone. Like in his eyes I was nothing more than just a vermin, a pest that needed to be squashed fast. Like I didn’t rise up to his standard, that our class is just that much different and he just didn’t want to bother with me. Hell, if he bought the house that he’s currently living in all in cash, I sure as hell can’t compete. It’s way beyond what I can even afford…

Even though I know this and I’m aware that he probably makes what I do in a month in a week or two, I still want to know him. But he wasn’t engaging with me at all and when I cut my foot, to be honest I wasn’t even expecting him to come and help me but he did. So, I thought that maybe I just misunderstood him and that I still had somewhat of a chance but even when he was treating my cut. He wasn’t interested in me; he was more concern about my wound than anything else.

The thing is that I didn’t learn anything of great significance about him other than part of his name. He wouldn’t even give me his first name for whatever reason I’m not exactly certain about and I know that he just met me but still he could have been a little friendlier towards me.

I’ve met a lot people in my line of work, every type you can imagine but Ginoza is by far the coldest individual that I have ever met and yet I still want to know more about him. I want to see him again and talk to him…

I still remember the first time I saw him back on the ferry. I was returning from Tokyo and he just caught my eyes. I had never seen someone so beautiful as I did in that moment, everything about him was just elegant and sophisticated with an aura of mystery shrouding him.

Even though there were a lot of people on the ferry that day, the moment I saw him he just captivated me and I was just trapped in this spell, I just couldn’t help but stare at him from a distance. The funny thing is that I remember an old woman giving be a slight nudge of her elbow and told me that she could smell love and gave me a smile before walking away and maybe that’s what it is. I never believed in love at first sight, never believed that it was possible to fall in love with someone without knowing them but now I’m a believer because Ginoza stole my heart without even saying a single word.

The thing is that he didn’t do anything special, he just stood there leaning on the railing in a black pea coat; talking a little on his phone and then once he hung up he just stared into the distance like he was deep in thoughts and he just seemed so beautiful in that moment.

When the ferry finally docked into port he quickly got off like he was in a big rush to get somewhere and before I could catch up to him he was already gone. Like he had just disappeared into thin air and for the rest of the day I just couldn’t get him off my mind.

It wasn’t until I got home after I was done working that my roommate started talking about a single guy that had just occupied the beach house at the far end of the beach and of course by the time that I had arrived the new guy was all everyone was talking about. Of course it didn’t surprise me much that something like that would have been the great talk of the night but what did surprise me was that it was the same guy that had caught my eye back on the ferry and to be honest I was thrilled.

Akane had been the one to suggest that I should go up to talk to him a little and invite him to our small gathering just to make him feel comfortable around here that he was more than welcome but things sure didn’t go as planned…

The ashes from our bonfire last night are still sizzling a little as I walk out of my house and I take a stroll on the beach, this time I wasn’t careless to go walking barefoot and made sure to put on some sandals before I left the house but I think it would be a good idea to do a clean-up later just to make sure there isn’t any more broken glass lying around in the sand. After all this beach is private property that belongs to those who lives in the beach houses here. If we don’t clean it up, no one will but what pisses me off is that we don’t carelessly discard glass and junk on the beach so it’s either it got washed to shore or we got some fuckers that partied on our properties when we were not around.

So far I don’t see anything in the sand and before long I found myself walking closer to Ginoza’s house and there he is just sitting there with his legs crossed under him at the exact same place as yesterday only difference is that it looks like he’s been doing some extensive workout. His black hair is a bit messy, his pale skin is a bit rosy and covered in sweat and I’m starting to think that maybe he has a thing for black clothing. Yesterday he was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans and today he’s wearing a black wife beater with black jogging pants but either way he pulls that color off perfectly.

His figure is slim and he’s gracefully tall and even though he’s not very big his body is leanly toned with delicate muscle formation and his skin is just flawless. Does he even have pores? I can’t see one speck of imperfection on him. God that man is beautiful, it’s crazy! How can a single human being be this gorgeous? It’s impossible and yet here he is, covered in sweat and messy hair and even then he just looks flawless and breath taking.

“Hey.” I call out as I walk up to him.

He opened his eyes and looks towards me, “yes?” He says in a low tone without much emotion put into it and with little care but even before he spoke I could tell that he wasn’t too happy to see me just by the look in his eyes.

I wouldn’t exactly say that he loathes me, I just feel like he doesn’t want to be near me at all and the thing is I can’t figure out what I could have done that pissed him off that much. Exactly what did I do?

“Thanks again for yesterday, that wasn’t the kind of first impression that I was aiming for.”  I tell him, trying to get a conversation going and all he does is nods in response and that just added the fuel to the bit of anger that was starting to boil deep down inside. Exactly what is his fucking problem? “Look if I offended you yesterday just tell me what it is that I did and I’ll apologize. You don’t have to be an ass about it.” I bark without thinking and before I could stop myself the words just came spilling out in a tone that was a bit too loud and maybe a bit too harsh and now I wish that I had bitten my tongue instead. Out of all the things I could have said, this sure wasn’t the smartest thing that I could have come up with… I’m an idiot…

Ginoza lets out a sigh before getting up and I catch his gaze, his green eyes are without a doubt alluring but they don’t match with his expression. His facial expression says that he’s cold and heartless, stern even and yet his eyes says that he’s in pain and there’s clearly fear in them for some reason but there’s also compassion and I’m sure there’s something else that I can’t see too.

Who is this guy?

I don’t know what it is but I feel like he needs help, there’s something that’s definitely eating at him, something that’s been eating him for a very long time and the result is what I see but this isn’t him, the real Ginoza is hiding underneath this cold exterior but why? What happened to make him this way?

“I have nothing to say. This is just who I am, it’s nothing personal.” He calmly says, his facial expression not changing as he spoke.

“Bullshit, everyone has something to say.” I blurt out crossing my arms against my chest and add, “You just choose not to, there’s a difference between not wanting and not having.”

This guy sure is something alright. At first glance he seems like this complex individual and if you didn’t know any better you’d actually think that he is but he’s not. Everything that he says and how he acts is all an act, it’s not who he really is and just knowing that makes me want to know him even more. I want to know the real Ginoza and not this pretender.

Ginoza… What’s really under that mask I wonder?

“Don’t think that you know me. Because you don’t-”

“Want to bet?” I quickly cut him off, removing the weight off my injured foot before continuing. “I’m a detective and I specialize in profiling. Figuring out how a criminal ticks is what I’m good at, I can also profile a regular person with no problems so should I?”

It’s always funny to see the look in people’s faces when I tell them that I’m a detective, no matter who they are they never seem to expect it. Ginoza was no different, his reaction though was barely noticeable but it was still there.

For some reason he hides who he truly is, he hides his emotions and feelings for some reason and I wonder why. What kind of things has he seen and been through to become this way? I feel like I have to help this guy and for some weird reason, I know it makes absolutely no fucking sense I’m attracted to him and the longer I’m with him this attraction just keeps growing even though we barely say a word to each other.

“Fine… I’m just not a fan of talking and besides I’m busy.” He says and a bit too quick to change the subject if you ask me. That alone can only mean that he has something to hide but what that could be I don’t know and sometimes there are things that just needs to be kept secret. As long it doesn’t hurt anyone, I honestly don’t care, they can keep whatever secrets that they have.

“Busy doing what? Today is the Emperor’s birthday; everything is closed so I know you’re not working.” I tell him, just trying to get him to loosen up a little. If it had been in any other time of the year I would have bought the whole I’m busy thing but we’re on an island and there’s already nothing to do here so I know for a fact that Ginoza isn’t busy no matter how loaded he may be.

“I’m a realtor agent and I’ve been assign to inspect this house for marketing.” He answers without delay and somehow I feel like this is a practiced answer on his part.

I could be wrong but I don’t know, it just feels a bit fishy to me. Everything just feels so rehearsed and honestly he doesn’t look like the type that would sell houses. He looks like the type who’d run a business or a CEO in a large company. If not that, I’d picture him in politics or the news. Something highly intellectual, however there’s one thing about him that doesn’t add up to those careers though. It’s his build. He’s too toned for simply working behind a desk even if he really is a realtor agent, he definitely trains for something. I just don’t know what it is.

“So you’re just here temporarily then…” I say and add as I play the comedy, “I have to admit I know nothing about realtors.”

“That’s correct and I plan to be out of here in a week, two max.” He answers quickly and every time that he does I get that same sensation as before he just wants this conversation to end just so he can leave and be alone.

It doesn’t matter who you are, it’s never normal for a human being to wish to seclude themselves almost twenty-four seven. Humans whether they want to admit it or not will always crave human interaction at some point in the day or in the week but Ginoza on the other hand he’s avoiding it completely. Even when I saw him on the ferry he never did try to attempt any conversation what so ever with anyone around him, actually he avoided making any eye contact just to make sure it didn’t invite anyone to him.

I know for a fact that he does interact with at least someone, whoever he was talking to on the phone he knows in person but other than that I have no way of knowing exactly how large his entourage is but if I take a guess it’s probably very small and quite frankly that’s not normal.

“Why are you in such a hurry? Look, I’m not an expert in realtor stuff but I don’t think you need to be gone so fast and rush your work. Relax a little, have some fun for a change and after all you’ll learn more about the house, get a more accurate appraisal and in turn easier to sell. No?” I tell him, trying to change the mood of our conversation a little before I get gilded and a part of me feels as if I should play stupid right now. Something tells me that it’s better if I pretend to believe his story, that he sells houses and it’s best to change the subject fast. “You’re so uptight, when was the last time you got laid?” I quickly add.

His face quickly went from pale to red in a matter of seconds and it’s quite obvious that he’s trying to keep his composer but failing miserably and it just makes things even more hilarious and I have a hard time holding in my urge to laugh.

“Oh my god… You’ve never? Not once?” I ask and I still can’t believe it and I think Ginoza was taken by surprise as much as I was.

“Bye.” He quickly blurts out as he goes to walk away towards his house.

“No, no, no. just wait a minute.” I call out and grab his shoulders bringing him closer to me before he can walk away out of embarrassment.

I can’t believe that I actually called him out on his sexual status right on and that wasn’t even my intentions, it was just to lighten up the mood but I sure wasn’t expecting that from him. I really wasn’t, not with his looks anyway.

“Sorry, I just didn’t think you were a virgin because between you and me, you’re a ten so I was expecting you know a large number of one night stands here.” I add.

“What!?” He barks back, his face growing redder by the minute making things even more hilarious. God I can’t believe just how innocent this guy really is, it’s almost too painful to watch.

“You really are a pure innocent minded soul aren’t you?” I blurt out, no longer able to hold in my laughter any longer.

“I am not!” He barks back as he tries to hide his embarrassment which only further makes me laugh even harder almost to the point of tears, “Shut up!” He adds with further discomfort and uneasiness but the more embarrassed that he gets, his eyes just seem to become more alive. I love it, I want to see more!

“Okay, we’re going to have to fix this.” I manage to say after I calm my laughter, “Tonight you’re coming down to my place right at the other side of the beach and we party. No excuse and if you don’t come tonight, I’m coming back down here and I’ll drag your ass myself and if needed I’ll get some help too.”

That’s what I should have done last night when he was a no show but I didn’t want to make him feel pressured and uncomfortable but I now understand why he’s so secluded. Social gatherings and such is not something that he’s familiar with and the poor guy probably never went out in his life. I’d be willing to bet that he was the type to sink himself into his studies back in school. The perfect student with the perfect grades and the type that all teachers just adored which in turned probably made him unpopular towards the other students and was probably bullied to some extend and that in return caused him to retreat and seclude himself which is a shame because he’s gorgeous but he’s also damaged but I’ll change that.

One thing that I’ve learned in my line of work, it’s never too late to get help and that’s what I’ll do for Ginoza, I’ll help him out and hopefully something else will come out of it.

“No!” He blurts out, obviously feeling uneasy but he’s just nervous about doing something new and entering into unknown territory but once he does he’ll feel much better and he’ll see that it wasn’t so bad. Ginoza needs to live a little and even if he doesn’t stay here long, I want to at least give him this; a taste of a social gathering, how it’s like to be surrounded by genuinely good people.

“Yes and no talking out of this. See you later.” I reply back before walking away not giving him the time to further argue himself out of this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Ginoza**

“Hi, you've reached Shimotsuki. I’m not available right now; please leave your name and number. Don’t leave a message.”

If there’s one thing that I cannot stand in this damn world it would be when I call someone and I get the damn answering machine instead of the person that I wish to speak with, anyone who thought that leaving a voice mail was a good idea should be gilded for even suggesting the thing.   

“I'm sick of sitting here.” I tell her as I pace around the living room, “Shimotsuki if I don’t get a name soon, I’m walking.”

I hang up as I keep pacing around. It’s been three days and I still haven’t gotten a single thing. No news, no names, no nothing! What’s the point of hiring someone to take down another if you can’t even give out a name immediately or at least within twenty-four hours of having accepted the job request?

In all of my contracts, I’ve never been hit with this kind of predicament before. The local people have never approached me, actually they’ve always ignored me and paid little to no attention at all. I sure as hell don’t need someone to tell me that I’m screwed right now. I didn’t just attract a simple local, I caught the eye of a damn detective and if that’s not bad I don’t know what is then.

This isn’t good, I’m sinking deeper into a bottomless abyss at a fast rate and the darkness is slowly closing itself around me. I’ve got too many variables with no answers. Did he approach me because he knows what I am and he’s just waiting for me to make my move just so he can catch me in the act or is it all just a damn coincidence and I’m simply overthinking things?

I can’t deny that I’m faced with a serious problem here and I need to solve it and fast or I might as well pour everything down the drain and call it quits right now.

What should I do? I’ve never been faced with such a situation before and I’ve never had to deal with something like this in a short period of time and right now I can’t afford to do a blunder…

If I go to this damn party, more people are going to see my face which isn’t good at all but it might reduce any possible suspicions that Kougami may have on me but there’s always a chance that someone from my past could be there also and I just don’t want that added problem to my already ever growing problematic list.  

If someone does recognize me then Kougami will know that I’m actually from here and if he is somewhat already suspicious of me that would be adding icing on the cake and further add more suspicion and that’s not good and quite frankly I can’t afford that right now.

If I don’t go well, Kougami will come and get me himself personally and I’ll raise even more unwanted attention to myself and raise the level of any suspicion that he may have towards me… It doesn’t matter how I look at it I’m faced with a double edged sword. 

If I want to have a chance to pull this job off with success I don’t have a choice, I have to go to that stupid party tonight. I’ll have to mingle and waste my time when I could be doing something that’s more constructive and beneficial to my task but if things start going sour, if it comes to a worst case scenario I’ll eliminate the obstacles without a second thought.

To be honest I’d rather not have to take the life of an innocent person, it’s not the same as taking the life of a crook. A crook will cheat you, they’ll do inhuman things such as rape women and children and they’ll take the lives of hundreds and even thousands of innocent people so I really don’t care if they die but taking the life of an innocent who hasn’t done anything wrong towards humanity, it’s just not the same.

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 4.5**

**Kougami**

Everything is perfect; the night is cool but not too cold and without a single cloud in the sky. We can see the stars perfectly tonight and the moon is shining to its fullest and even better it’s a full moon too. The bonfire is starting to take its final form as the flames are starting to get stronger little by little so that’s a massive success.

Kunizuka and Sugo are setting up the music system, Shion is laying out the chairs around the fire and Kagari is preparing the food for tonight with the help of Akane. Everything is coming along just nice and soon it will be completely dark with some good music to fill the air, sitting around the fire and hopefully I’ll be able to fix yesterday’s blunder with Ginoza and start anew. Hopefully, I’m still hopeful. I think I still have a chance if I play my cards right.

“Shinya, I recommend that you escort your guest here.” Shion voices out and adds with a wink, “Might help to get him more relaxed.”

“Good idea.” I reply and start walking away from the gang and take the wooden pass to avoid the tide that rose.

It doesn’t take long for Ginoza’s house to come into view and I’m relieved to see the lights are on so I know that he didn’t bail on me. To be honest I was actually afraid that there wouldn’t have been any lights on and that he would have went into the city to avoid me or just decided to go to bed early.

I walk up the steps of the balcony and knock on the door, waiting a little before the door opened and I’m greeted with a not too happy Ginoza. Actually if eyes could kill I’d be dead and I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t help but to smile which is probably why he’s not in a good mood. He probably thinks that I’m a jackass, an over confident cocky jackass but I just can’t help it, just seeing his face makes me happy.

“Good to see that you showered. Now you can’t give me an excuse to bail.” I blurt out, putting my foot in my mouth again. That sure as hell wasn’t the right thing to say right from the start knowing full well that he’s not in a good mood to begin with.

Fuck Kou! Get your head out of the gutter and fast!

Of course Ginoza would have taken a shower; he doesn’t look like the type who’d do an intense work out and stay in his sweat for the rest of the day. He’s the type who probably showers right after because cleanliness is something that he values greatly. He sure as hell didn’t shower just to impress me or anything.

“How about that I don’t want to?” He replies as he crosses his arms against his chest and of course he doesn’t want to go but then again if he really didn’t want to go he would have found a way to bail on me so the fact that he is here and up says that deep down he does want to go, he just doesn’t want to admit it.

“That’s not an excuse, it’s an opinion.” I tell him, crossing my arms against my chest in return and removing the weight on my injured foot.

“You’re an ass.” He blurts out in a calm fashion and I have to stop myself from laughing, this guy is just too much. He tries so hard to be this tough guy but he’s not, he’s a soft hearted individual and just seeing him try to be someone else is just too adorable.

“Mmmmh… Yeah, pretty much.” I agree. 

He shakes his head in disbelief and says, “You even admit it, should I be worried?”

“Hey, at least I’m honest.” I answer back and I’m hoping that at least it’s worth something to Ginoza’s eyes. I want him to know that I have nothing to hide, that he can trust me to be honest. I want him to feel more comfortable with me and I really want to have a chance with him but he’s so distant and it’s hard to get closer to him. He placed a wall up around himself and he just doesn’t want to lower it and let me in, he’s just so defensive and wary.

“I was thinking about how it might be awkward for you to come alone so I thought that I should join you. I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything so just take your time and pretend like I’m not even here.” I tell him after a few minutes of awkward silence.

I leave out the part that Shion was actually the one to suggest the idea, hoping that it will win me some points with Ginoza but she had a really good point though. Since Ginoza doesn’t know anyone here it would have been a bit awkward for him to just walk up and join us in our party. It wouldn’t have been fair to have placed him into that position so it’s the least I can do and besides being alone with him before we join the others is something that I want.

“Very thoughtful…” He says without much emotion in his tone and he’s not genuine at all as he exits the house and locks the door behind him.

“I sense sarcasm in there.” I point out and I know it was rather obvious but I’m trying to lighten the mood between us but no matter what I do it just doesn’t seem to work. I can’t get him to even smile a little, he’s just so serious.

“I just want to get this over with.” He answers sharply with zero interest and that is without a doubt a genuine statement and I guess that I feel a little bad about it but he needs to step out of his cocoon. It’s not healthy for someone to confine themselves indoors twenty-four seven. It’s just not and I know if I didn’t push him into this, he wouldn’t have come, I had no choice. I just had to force him but he’ll see soon that he made the right choice and he’ll actually have some fun.

“That’s not the spirit! You’re going to have fun and have a ball.” I tell him but he doesn’t seem very convince as he digs his hands in his pockets as we walk down the wooden path.

Maybe after Ginoza has had a drink or two in him he’ll feel much more relaxed and actually allow himself to lighten up and just have a good time. I want to see him laughing a little and see him actually happy for a change. I don’t think he’s been happy for a very long time and that just doesn’t suite me very well. I need to put a smile on his face, I know his face will glow and his eyes will just sparkle.

Again his choice of clothing is black jeans and a black long sleeve shirt and it doesn’t look too thick which favours me well for later. Once the night truly sets in the temperature will drop a bit more and maybe I’ll be able to move in to provide him some warmth. Maybe…

The bonfire is the first thing that I see as we start getting closer. I quickly glance an eye towards Ginoza just to see his reaction but he seems totally unimpressed as he stares at the large fire.

Kunizuka has already started playing some good old rock music and like always it’s not too loud or too low. It’s just right and I’m glad to see that everything came along just great but even with all of that Ginoza still remains completely uninterested.

Kagari is roasting some marshmallows for himself and Hinakawa near the fire and they’re pretty much keeping to themselves with small chitchats about whatever. Akane, Shion and Kunizuka are sitting around the fire talking with drinks in their hands. Well I’m sure that they’re not exactly talking but sharing some hot gossip amongst each other which would be the better term to say in their case and a bit further Sasayama is having a chat with Sugo. Whatever it’s about, I personally do not want to know and by Sugo’s facial reaction he probably wishes that he didn’t know either. 

I’m debating on whom I should introduce Ginoza to first. Kagari and Hinakawa could be a good bet but that is if Kagari won’t start acting childish. I had considered Sugo but he’s occupied with Sasayama at the moment and that’s the last person I want Ginoza to be introduced to first which then leads to the girls. Well, if I introduce Ginoza to them first well I fear that I will lose him to them for the rest of the night.

“Is it? Holy mother of god if it isn’t Nobuchika Ginoza who has come back from the land of the dead!”  

Sasayama’s sudden loud voice catches my attention and at first I wondered if I had heard him correctly as he ditched Sugo in a heartbeat and walked towards us and my confusion was kind of answered as I saw Ginoza seemed like he wants to suddenly disappear in this moment as Sasayama got closer to us.

“Where the fuck have you been you fucking fairy!?” He asks as he wraps an arm over Ginoza’s shoulders as if they’ve known each other for years.

Sasayama seems rather happy to see Ginoza but Ginoza on the other hand looks like he’d rather bury himself in a hole and stay there to die and I can’t help but wonder why that is.

“You two know each other?” I ask still a bit confused. I know for a fact that Ginoza is Japanese but I assumed that he was probably an American-Japanese and not exactly from here but if Sasayama is acting so familiar with Ginoza it can only mean that he has known Ginoza for a very long time and I know for a fact that Sasayama has never left this island for anything. Actually I met Sasayama after I transferred here.

“Somewhat…” Ginoza answers briefly as he manages to slip himself out of Sasayama’s hold and backs away from both of us.

“Somewhat? We fucking graduated together and not to mention that we’ve known each other since we were basically wearing diapers you fucking fairy.” Sasayama shoots back at him in a pained tone.

Sasayama is a lot of things but he isn’t a liar and right now even if he doesn’t admit it he’s hurt that Ginoza dismissed him like they barely knew each other in the past but there has to be a reason for it. There are always two sides to every story and I know that Sasayama is far from being a saint and to be honest I never would have thought that Ginoza would ever hang around someone like Sasayama.

“To think that I saw pops today and he failed to say that his kid was around-”

“Okay Sasayama give him a breather.” I cut him off but by then Ginoza is already walking away from us.

I give Sasayama a sharp glare and he retreats back and I set off after Ginoza and it doesn’t take long for me to catch up to him.

“Hey! Ginoza! Hey!” I shout out for him to stop but he doesn’t and he only does when I grabbed his shoulder.

“What!?” He shouts back as he turns to face me, his face furious but I don’t sense anger but more like he’s hurting deep down but he refuses to even let those emotions out.

That wasn’t what I had in mind when I invited Ginoza to our party, I didn’t want to upset him but that’s exactly what happened. I fucked up again all thanks to Sasayama and his damn big mouth.

“I’m sure you have your reasons and it’s not my business to ask why but you should have told me that you were originally from here-”

“Now you know…” He cuts me off and starts walking again and I follow much to his annoyance.

I know he just wants me to go away but I can’t, I can’t leave him until I make things right. Knowing Sasayama, he won’t stay quiet for long and he’ll contact pops the moment that he gets to tell him the news about Ginoza being around and all of that is my fault.

“I never would have placed you in that position if I had known. I’m sorry, I know Sasayama can be a fucking asshole sometimes but you probably already knew that.” I tell him, trying to explain to the best of my abilities that I really didn’t want to do him any harm but Ginoza remains silent and continues walking towards his house and I have to grab his wrist for him to stop and to look at me.

“Look… I don’t want to be here longer than I have to.” He says after a few minutes of silence but his tone isn’t anger, it’s back calm as before but he refuses to look me in the eye and I don’t remove my hold of his wrist but he doesn’t try to pull himself free either.

“Why? Ginoza, talk to me…” I ask, trying to catch his eye but he keeps evading me. “I wasn’t born here. I come from Tokyo and I got transferred here four years ago and this beats Tokyo any day, it’s different. Calm and the people are awesome and welcoming so I don’t know why you’d want to run away from all of this.” I add, trying to get him to say something but he doesn’t. He simply stares to the ground and whenever I try to catch his eyes he just looks at another direction, always escaping. No… Running is a better word to choose here.

“I never would have guessed that you were pops’ kid… Ever since I got transferred here, I worked a lot with him. You know all he ever talks about is you.” I tell him and then watch for a reaction a bit before continuing when I got none, “All he ever wants is to see you, year after year that’s all he ever hopes for but you never came and here you are now and you still haven’t gone to see him. Why?”

“I have my reasons…” He mutters, his tone is low and I can’t think of a possible reason why Ginoza wouldn’t want to see his own father. I see pops more of a father to me than my own, he’s a great man and I know that he loves his only kid more than anything in the world and yet Ginoza is completely estranged from him, Hell he’s not even using pops’ name as his own.

“Can I know what it is?” I ask.

“No…” His answer was just as low as before but this time he looks up, my eyes connecting to his.

His eyes is catching the lighting of the moon, they sparkle like vibrant emeralds and they look even more alluring than before and I don’t know if it’s because he’s hurt or just feeling vulnerable right now but he seems even more beautiful right now in this very moment.

I shouldn’t…

This is going to be a mistake on my part and it’s going to cost me whatever chance I may have had left but I can’t help it. I can’t hold myself back as I slowly move closer and press my lips against his, giving him a soft and gentle kiss. He doesn’t return it but he doesn’t seem angry about it either. Actually he looks rather defeated, lost maybe. I don’t know but what I do know is that there’s definitely no anger or rage in his eyes right now.

“I’m not a good person to get involved with.” He says, soft and low almost in a whisper and right then I can see. This is the real him, the part that Ginoza tries so hard to hide and it’s without a doubt worth fighting for. I don’t want to give up on him; I can’t, not after seeing this side of him.

“Can I at least make that decision?” I ask as I move in for another kiss and he doesn’t move away and I kiss him again, and another until he finally returns it and I release my hold of his wrist and I cradle his head, my thumbs stroking his cheeks as I deepen the kiss.

“I want to love you.” I confess after I pull away, breaking our kiss.

“If you’ll have me, give me one night.” I say, giving him another kiss and add, “Just one night…”


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Ginoza**

I stir as I tiredly open my eyes and I’m greeted by the blinding morning sunlight that’s illuminating through the bedroom window and the sound of the waves following the tide outside against the shore.

I feel lazy and I’m aching all over as I look to my right-

Nothing…

There should have been something but there isn’t and only the signs that there was someone lying there is all that remains…

He’s gone and I have no idea when he left either, maybe early this morning or the moment I fell asleep last night… I don’t know, not like it should even bother and yet it does…

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask myself as I bury my face in my hands for a few seconds before I allow my arms to fall flat on the mattress, spreading them out from one end to the other.

What am I doing…?

Why did I even allow Kougami to kiss me…?

From the moment that I met him, I didn’t want to be near him at all. All that I wanted was for him to leave me alone just so I could concentrate on the task at hand but he didn’t. He kept on pushing and pushing until he had me cornered like a rat and then things got worse for me…

Everything about Kougami annoys me, from his tone to his stupid grin I just can’t stand it and yet when he grabbed me by the wrist I just couldn’t pull away from him when I know I should have and what I just can’t understand is why I didn’t.

I don’t know why I let him kiss me last night, why I just let him touch my body as he pleased. I don’t know why I let him into the house; lead him upstairs to the bedroom and into my bed…?

I’m such a fool… That’s all he wanted right from the very beginning wasn’t it…?

The reasons that he approached me and then kept on pestering me over and over again even after I showed him clear signs that I had no interest in him what so ever. It was all just a game to him, I was nothing more than a challenge and I fell right into his trap. I allowed him to play me like a damn violin just to get his way and now he’s gone just like that. Like it was nothing at all… I got played…

I was afraid that he was on to me after he said that he was a detective. That’s all I was focused on and that played with my emotions in return. I failed to see the obvious intentions of what he really wanted and I allowed him to have it directly on a silver platter. He knew exactly what he was doing, how to act and what to say but I should have seen it coming from far away and I didn’t. The fault rests solemnly on me, I was careless…

I roll out of bed only to realize just how much my body is aching all over but my lower back is the worse but it’s bearable. I’m just so stiff and walking to my dresser to pick out some clean clothes was a chore and then I drag my feet to the bathroom.

I stare into the mirror and feel the purplish spots on my skin that I see in the mirror. My shoulders and chest is full of them; I have almost a dozen of these small bruises which only help to remind me of what happened last night, something I wish I could forget.

It was a mistake on my part…

The things that he did to seduce me, to get his way and how he undressed me before laying me down on the bed and then he climbed on top of me to finished his deed; only to do it again throughout the night and then a third time later afterwards but after that I don’t know what happened, I have no memory…

I pull myself away from the mirror and set up the shower, I don’t even wait until the water is even hot to step in. The cold water jolts me awake before it heats up and warms my cold body and I proceed to wash myself and yet even after I finished washing every inch of skin, I still don’t feel clean. I feel dirty and despicable. I can still feel him on my skin, his kisses and his touch but I had consented to it, I never told him no because for some reason that I don’t know why, I wanted it.

Before he took off my clothes, before doing anything to me he asked for my consent and I gave it to him and even though I know that, it still doesn’t make me feel any better because I know it wasn’t right. There is just no room for such things in my line of work.  

I could have stopped it all before it started; if I had refused I know he would have stopped. He wouldn’t have used force to get what he wanted so why couldn’t I just say no?

Emotional ties, they cloud one’s judgement and I don’t need that right now. How can I do my job if I’m not clear headed?  

I turn off the water and dry myself up before getting dressed in a simple black t-shirt and jeans when I hear my phone ringing and I quickly go to pick it up to answer it.

“Good morning. You just got a delivery.” Shimotsuki quickly says before I could answer the call properly.

I quickly walk down the stairs and go straight to the front door and pick up a large brown envelop that’s been left behind. I close the door behind me and go back upstairs and sit down on my unmade bed before taking out the contract and documents and I scan the pictures provided about the target and my heart sinks down to my gut.

I quickly scan through the official document and strangely hoping that the man on the pictures are of someone else entirely and the resemblance is only what it is but the target’s name only confirms that it’s exactly who I thought.

Shinya Kougami, a twenty-eight year old male, blue eyes and measuring height of five feet eleven, weighing at a hundred and forty-five pounds-

“What's the matter?” Shimotsuki asks, still on the line and I had almost forgotten that I hadn’t hung up and that she was still waiting for my confirmation.

“Nothing.” I answer, trying to shake off the memories of last night out of my head with little success.

“Good. Then there'll be no problems.” She quickly states and I want to give her a reassurance but I can’t manage to say anything of the sort.

“I'll call you when it's done.” I finally say before hanging up and I look back at the documents that I have right before me for a few more minutes. Pondering with myself about what I should do, it’s the first time I ever got a job that my target is an actual civilian and an agent of the law but then again I know nothing about this man. For all that I know he could be a dirty detective working in the lines of a Yakuza clan, it’s not like things like that are unheard of. There are always crooked cops; it doesn’t matter where you are in the world. There always are.

It has to be done…

I get up and pull out my bag from under the bed and finish getting ready before heading out with my bag over my shoulders. Carefully navigating around the city until I can enter into the mountain trail, right up to a high peak but not too high, just enough to get a good view of the city but far enough to be away from unwanted eyes and when I’m satisfied I pull out my Heckler & Koch PSG1 and get into position. As long that my target is within six hundred meters, I’ll be good and my distance is half that and much to my satisfaction I have a perfect view of everything from where I am.

I carefully scan section by section but it doesn’t take long before I’m able to locate Kougami in the city. Actually finding him was a bit easier than what I had predicted. I was expecting him to be inside of a building or something. Instead I found him just simply sitting outside a café and from here it looks like he’s doing some sort of paper work but either way he couldn’t have picked a better location and even better he’s completely at a standstill. He’s just a perfect target sitting there, not knowing exactly what’s in store for him.

All I have to do is put a bullet in his brain and that will be it, my job will be done and all I have to do is lay low for a bit, play the comedy a little and then make my leave back for Italy. All I have to do is pull that trigger just like I’ve done a hundred times before, all I have to do is pull the trigger and all of this will be all over. That’s all I have to do and yet I can’t, my finger just won’t budge.

Instead of focusing on the task at hand, my mind keeps drifting off to what transpired last night. I never should have done that; I never should have involved myself with people in the first place. Connections make you weak and it clouds your judgement to be efficient…

I put my gun down for a bit, rub my eyes and my face before repositioning myself and scan the city back quickly to get a visual of Kougami who is still just sitting there drinking coffee and eating something as he continues to work.

I have a clear head shot, if I take this shot right now it will be a guaranteed fatality and besides why should I care if he lives or dies. He doesn’t love me, he only wanted what I had and now that he got it I won’t be hearing from him again so why can’t I pull the trigger?

I can’t bail out, I have to do this. No matter the cost…

**XXX**

* * *

 

I drag my feet upstairs and push my bag back under the bed before climbing in and getting under the covers and shoving the documents under the bed.

How can it be possible to be this tired and do nothing? I have no energy left in me, I can barely move, I can barely think straight and everything no longer makes any sense. Everything is crazy and nothing means anything and the world is slowly drowning into chaos and everyone is just too stupid and ignorant to see it even if they are seeing it happening right in front of their own eyes.

The world is hell…

I close my eyes and not long afterwards I feel myself drifting off into nothingness and all goes black.

**XXX**

* * *

 

“Still in bed at this hour?”

The voice is distance as I feel warmth touch my face and I open my eyes and look over my shoulder to see piercing blue eyes staring down at me.

Kougami… What’s he doing here?

“You know you really shouldn’t keep your door unlocked when you go to bed. It’s not safe.” He lectures me just like Shimotsuki does. I understand coming from her but Kougami has no reason to be concerned about my wellbeing, it’s not like he loves me or even cares about me. After all he got what he wanted; he no longer has any reason to be here. “Are you okay, are you feeling sick?” He asks before touching my forehead as if to check if I have a fever or something. All the while acting concern about my health which I know it’s completely false. Exactly what’s his deal?

“Why are you here?” I ask, not bothering to sit up and only shift my position onto my back but always looking at him in the eyes. Trying to process everything into my head, trying to understand what’s going on. Nothing makes any sense and for some reason I find his eyes strangely beautiful today…

“I got us some food of which I think that you will love and I was thinking that we could maybe do something tonight. Just you and me, no social circle or anything.” He casually says, giving me a small rectangular box as I lazily sit up.

“Why?” I ask, staring at the box that’s now resting on my lap.

“Because I love you. Is that so strange?” He suddenly states and I quickly look up to meet his eyes.

He’s not wearing that usual grin on his face, he’s dead serious but it still doesn’t make any sense and I break eye contact to look down at my hands. You can’t just love someone just like that…

“It is-”

“Why? Because you’re not a good person to get involved with?” He quickly cuts me off and my eyes jolt back up at the sudden rose of his tone and adds, “You’re a good person Gino; you just need to see it for yourself to believe it.”

Me, a good person? There isn’t anything good about me; I kill people for a living. I take people’s lives for the right price… I’m sure if Kougami knew that part about me, he wouldn’t be saying that. Even I know I’m a complete sack of shit, I’m a poor excuse of a human being who takes the lives of others for the right price. There’s nothing lower than that.

“There is none to believe in…” I reply back.

Kougami lets out a long sigh as he shakes his head and says, “If I could give you a gift it would be for you to see what I see when I look at you.”

“What’s in this?” I ask as I lift the box slightly, wanting to change the subject.

“Squid and eel!” He quickly answers and my eyes widen at his serious face and I have to control the sudden urge to gag and then he burst into laughter before continuing, “Don’t worry it’s not squid or eel. It’s sushi, well a form of it anyway at least and I think you’ll like it.”

I open the box cautiously to reveal three rice rolls with crab meat filling, cucumber and avocado, wrapped with seaweed. Three others are the same except instead of crab meat it’s raw tuna… I haven’t had these in years, not since I left Japan and to be honest I kind of missed them and I can’t help but smile a little which of course doesn’t go unnoticed by Kougami as he gives me a big smile in return.

“I got you the makizushi with real crab meat, not imitation and some similar rolls with tuna instead. They’re known as California rolls back in the States, well their similar to that.” Kougami tells me. He sounds proud of himself like he actually guessed that these ones were my favourites…

I quickly glance at what Kougami got himself. Looks like simple nigiri but then again that wasabi sauce looks a little deadly to me. I can’t believe that he’s going to eat his sushi with that.

“I used to eat these constantly back in high school…” I tell him, not knowing why I even did to begin with. It’s not like it was any of his business to know.

I pick my chopsticks and carefully eat a crab roll. They taste exactly how they used to, back when everything was much simpler.

“Did you profile me to figure that out?” I ask once I swallowed my first roll.

“No, I asked your dad.”

“What!?” I blurt out, dropping the second roll I had picked up with my chopsticks into the box as I look at him in alarm and add, “Why would you do that!? Now he knows that I’m here!”

My dad was the last person that I wanted to know that I was back here because I know what he’ll do and now leaving Japan just got a lot harder… He never did believe me when I used to tell him that I would leave this place that I would leave Japan and never come back and when I did leave, I didn’t say goodbye to him. Actually I waited until he left for work to leave just so he couldn’t stop me so when he came home, I was already long gone…

“Actually Sasayama told him before I could so he already knew by the time I went to talk to him but that’s not the point. Both of you need to reconnect and make peace with whatever happened between the two of you. I know that he’s the only living relative that you have left in this world.” He says.

“That’s life, you’re born to die.” I reply back and eat another crab roll.

“That’s quite a morbid way to look at life. You’re not wrong but there’s more to life than just living in order to die.” He tells me but it feels more like one of the most boring lectures that I’ve ever had.

“Oh what else is there? Fuck?” I sarcastically blurt out before eating a tuna roll.

“There’s that.” He admits as he tries to control his laughter but poorly. “But there are things more important than that like friends, family… Love.” He adds and there’s that word again. Love… Love doesn’t exist; it’s just something people say with empty meanings. It’s used just for the sake of using it, it means nothing.

“All those things don’t last forever…” I say after eating another roll and push the box back. I wouldn’t be able to eat another even if I wanted to.

“They can if you would let them.” He replies and empties his box clean.

I can’t believe that he ate all of that; he had more than I did and I couldn’t finish what I had. He can’t possibly be human; he’s something else for sure.

“I know you’re in a hurry to leave but I’d like for you to stay, stay here with me.” He says in a soft tone, putting both lunch boxes away onto the night table before turning back his attention onto me and I back away. My back pressed against the headboard of the bed, bringing my knees up to my chest.

“Gino…?” He gently spoke my name and gets a little closer to me and continues, “Give me a week, just one and if you don’t think it will work out after that we can take our separate ways but I’m asking to give me a chance.”

Why did he have to go and say something like that? What exactly am I even supposed to say when he’s staring at me with those blue eyes of his, waiting for some sort of answer? After last night is it expected of me to even give him that but in the end what’s the point when you know that it just won’t last. I’m contracted to kill this man and once the client sees that he remains alive, they’ll simply terminate my contract and hire someone else to do the job.

“You work in a line where tomorrow isn’t certain…” I tell him as my answer, hoping that will be more than enough but I highly doubt that it will be.

“I can’t argue with that, my work isn’t exactly safe. I won’t hide that we’re working on a case to corner a Yakuza clan’s operation and we’re close so things might get heated soon.” He tells me like it’s nothing at all but thanks to that bit of information I think that I know who could possibly want him dead.

“Careful… If you snoop too close you’ll find yourself on the other end of the target. Don’t mess with Yakuzas, it won’t end well.” I warn him and honestly I don’t even know why I even did. It might have been careless on my part but it’s true, you just don’t mess with a Yakuza unless you are fully prepared to kill them all.

The problem with law enforcement is that they want to bring them to justice and lock them behind bars to serve their time but that’s not how you get rid of the Yakuzas. If you truly want to stop their operations completely, you have to eliminate every single one of them otherwise there will always be another to take the place of the fallen leader.

“Don’t worry; I’m a detective from Tokyo. I know what I’m doing, don’t think I’ll die that easily.” He states with open confidence and I believe him in a way. He’s confident in his skills and I guess being from a large city Kougami must be somewhat knowledgeable in things like this and how to deal with the mafia a bit better than small folks but he’s still only a man of the law and therefor will act according to the law and sometimes the law just can’t always keep you alive.

“Don’t think you can’t be killed… Anyone can be killed…” I blurt out, my tone a bit lower than intended.

“You can be frightening with the things that you say sometimes you know that but you’re right and I know.” He replies before getting closer, placing his hands on my waist, his face too close to mine.

“Will you give me a week?” He asks, his lips brushing against mine and his eyes piercing into me as if somehow it can see my very soul.

A part of me is saying to push him away, to just be over and done with it. This is my chance to end this and pretend like none of this has ever happened but I can’t.

His hands on my waist, his body so close to mine is making feel so powerless. As much as I want to, I can’t say no to this man. It’s as if he’s gotten a hold of me and I can’t shake myself free and the thing that I understand even less is that I don’t want to leave him.

“We shouldn’t…” I weakly say.

Kougami gives me a warm smile as his hands trail from my waist to my knees and lowers them just to be able to get even closer as he sheds my last attempt of a barrier to block myself from him but like last time I didn’t put up a fight. I can say no and everything will stop and yet…

“We should…” He answers back before pressing his lips onto mine, gently deepening the kiss and although I know this is wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this, I should be eliminating my target like I was contracted to do I can’t bring myself to do it because deep down this feels so right.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Kougami**

Ah man…

I would give anything just to be able to stay in bed just a little while longer, just to be able to hold Gino in my arms and watch him sleep until he wakes up in the glittering morning light but unfortunately I can’t. I have to go home so I can get ready for work and just saying that I have to leave Gino to go home just doesn’t feel right.

I know I don’t know Gino for that long but he already feels like home to me. I know it doesn’t make much sense but that’s how much I love him, if it was just up to me I’d move in but I don’t want to freak him out or make him feel like he’s being pressured…

I sit up and brush Gino’s hair away from his face. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, so delicate and gentle. I still can’t believe that he agreed to give me a chance to prove myself to him but I’m so happy that he did.

I love Gino, I’m madly in love with this man and with each passing day my feelings for him just keeps growing more and more. I just hope that Gino’s feelings for me are the same. I don’t want him to leave, god I want him to stay. I want to wake up every morning to his beautiful face; I want to be able to look into those green eyes of his every day and get lost into them in different ways.

I bend over to kiss his cheek and then his forehead and he stirs gently before opening his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” I apologize but I can’t deny that I don’t hate seeing his eyes before leaving for work, “I have to go to work, go back to sleep.” I add and give him another kiss on the forehead, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

“I’m awake now.” He says moving away from me and gets up with a bed sheet tightly wrapped around his waist and I can’t help but smile at that.

Even after our second night together Gino is still self-conscious about being naked around me. He’s shy and insecure about his body, his reflex is always to cover himself just before I enter him and I have to gently calm him down and make sure that it’s okay to continue.  

I did pull Gino way out of his comfort zone, in the time span of two days I got him involved in his old life that he had left behind, I initiated a romance that quickly escalated into intimacy but not only that I took his virginity. I was his first and I know that he’s having sexual guilt about it. I know that he’s fighting with himself in order to come to terms with what we’ve done so his actions right now are all completely understandable. Maybe I just moved in too fast but I can’t retreat to give him a breather now because then he might think that I’m not serious about this. I can only move forward and not backwards…

Gino’s body is just so elegant. He’s tall and his body is toned with years of extensive workouts but even so he still has a delicate figure. His muscles are well defined but not too much, he retained a slim and thin body and it’s just beautiful. No matter where I look on him there are no flaws on his body, he doesn’t have any scars, birthmarks or anything. His skin is just like flawless porcelain…

“Gino, don’t be like that. Come back to bed.” I tell him, watching as he picks out some clean clothes out of his dresser and then makes his way to the bathroom.

“I have things to do.” He replies back laying his clothes onto the bathroom counter.

I get up and walk over to the bathroom, not bothering to cover my naked form and stand right behind him as I press my body against his.

“At this hour?” I ask, placing my hands around his thin waist and whisper into his ear, “Surely you can give me another excuse than that.”

I rest my chin on his shoulder, starring at our reflection in the mirror. I love what I see, I love this sight right now and I hope we can get more of these moments in the future.

I try to read Gino’s face, trying to get a glimpse of how he’s feeling right now and the thing is that I don’t normally have a hard time to figure out someone in a short period of time. That’s what profiling is all about, that’s what I do for a living and yet with Gino it’s not that easy. I don’t feel like he hates me, I think that he likes me at least but I always have this dangerous vibe from him. He looks calm and gentle and yet I feel like if you anger him, if you poke at him in the wrong way a beast is hiding underneath.

Even though I feel odd vibes from him, I don’t hate it. Actually I love the fact that there’s a side of him that’s a complete mystery, it’s alluring and I love it.

“Go back to bed or I’ll put you to bed myself.” I tell him teasingly in a low tone into his ear and I feel his body shiver slightly against my body.

“Or what? You’ll knock me out?” He asks as he turns to face me, his emerald eyes locked into mine. I can’t tell if he’s actually challenging me right now or he’s simply too innocent minded to even realize exactly what I had meant.

If he is too innocent minded and he’s actually serious about me using physical violence against him well then now I’m afraid to know with exactly what kind of people he has dated in the past? It could explain why gentle touches and affection is new to him, he’s just not used to it and that makes me sad and I just want to make him happy even more.

“There are other ways to get you to go back to sleep.” I answer.

“Like what…?” He asks and yeah that proves my assumptions. He’s absolutely not dirty minded what so ever, he’s pure minded through and through and quite frankly I find that truly adorable. I love this side of him, I love his innocence but he also has a high maturity and both combined is just too damn sexy.

However, it only further means that Gino is used to violence in a relationship and that breaks my heart knowing that he may have been victim of domestic violence and it makes me wonder if he and Sasayama had something going on and that would have been the reason Gino left but I don’t think Sasayama would ever hit his partner. I don’t think that he would, he just doesn’t give me that impression but then again I could be wrong which I hope not because if so I’ll beat the shit out of him if he did.

“I’ll make love to you.” I reply, studying his face but he doesn’t react to it and simply turns around to face the mirror again and held the sheet a bit tighter in his grasp.

“Don’t you need to go to work?” He asks and yes he does have a point but I always get up earlier than needed. Time isn’t something that worries me; I sure as hell don’t like to be rushed in the morning so I get up early just to make sure that I can relax and wake myself up before going for the day.

“There’s always time to make love to you.” I whisper into his ear as I start kissing his neck slowly with my hands on his waist, gently stroking his soft skin with my fingertips.

“Kougami… I have to shower.” He softly says before accidentally dropping the sheet as he grabs hold of the counter. The sheet falls onto the floor and I gently kick it away from us, just so we don’t trip over it.  

“You can do that later…” I reply, continuing kissing his neck and then down to his shoulder, to his shoulder blades and then up to his nape and back up his neck and behind his ear.

With one hand I reach for his member and slowly start stroking him and then with the other hand, I carefully insert a finger inside his ass to start preparing him in a slow and gentle motion.

Gino may not have much experience in sex but he’s very sensitive and it never takes too much effort to get him hard and to turn his pale skin to flush in a nice shade of red and just to send him off the edge. His inside his already squeezing onto my fingers, his ass twitching in anticipation to pleasure.

His soft panting and low moans are the best; I will never be able to get tired of hearing them. His voice when he’s being pleasured is beyond beautiful and his face just can’t be described. It’s more than beautiful, if there ever was something perfect in this world it would be his face when he’s excited with pleasure and on the verge of orgasming. His eyes filled with lust and yet innocent and shy is just so dazzling. I just can’t get enough of that.

His knuckles have turned white from grasping at the counter for support and I let go of his hard on and take out my fingers and I pull up a condom on my cock and generously lube myself up before I start entering him, slowly. Giving Gino some time to adjust to the sudden invasion and even though I’ve entered him a few times already, he still remains tight as if it was still his first time.

Every time I enter Gino, I always have a small fear of hurting him when I penetrate him even though I know that I’ve done everything right. The last thing I’d want is to hurt Gino while making love to him. It should never be painful; pain has no place in making love so I take my time. Before moving I make sure that he’s gotten used to me there and when I start thrusting I do it slowly and gently. There would be no point in scary him, to be rough while making love would just be selfish on my part.

It’s the first time I’ve initiated sex this way, I was afraid that it would spook Gino off but he’s completely melting in my arms with each gentle thrust I do. His moans and panting sounds so sweet to my ears and his eyes are dilated and filled with lust. I know for a fact that his body is experiencing immense pleasure right now but he still fights to keep his emotions bottled up.

“Don’t… Not here…” He says between pants as he looks down, turning his gaze away from the mirror.

I continue thrusting, slow and deep. One arm wrapped around his waist and with the other I cup his face in my hand lifting his head for him to look back in the mirror.

“Gino… This is you… This is me… This is us… You’re beautiful.” I tell him in between my own panting.

There’s nothing more sensual than staring in a mirror while making love, you can’t deny what you see because what you see is true. You see yourself how others would see you, in this very moment there is nothing more intimate than this. Gino isn’t only seeing my face, my expression but also his. He’s seeing exactly what I see.

“It’s shameful…” He manages to add followed by a soft cry of pleasure followed by more panting between thrusts.

“You’re just insecure, it’s okay… There’s nothing shameful to let out your emotions. There’s nothing shameful in making love.” I tell him as I pull myself out and gently turn him around, “Come back to bed?” I ask before kissing him as he wraps his arms around my neck, returning the kiss and I lift him up in my arms and carry him back onto the bed laying him down gently.

He looks at me with his gorgeous green eyes, watching everything that I do with his hands half open resting beside his head. I spread open his legs and slowly enter him again and resume thrusting slow and deep with his legs wrapped around my waist. When I’m certain that he’s gotten used to me again, I pick up my speed but making sure to remain gentle as I thrust into him.

“I love you…” I tell him before kissing him deep as I feel my climax reaching and his as well.

I long for the day when I’ll tell Gino that I love him and he’ll say it right back…

**XXX**

* * *

 

**Chapter 6.5**

**Ginoza**

“I’m not going to do it.”

“Woah! What!? Why!?” Shimotsuki asks and I’m sure she choked on her tea just then as I hear her cough a little. That’s a shame I missed seeing tea come out of her nose, now I won’t be able to tease her about it…

“I need the name of the client.” I ask as I watch the documents and the contract that I received yesterday burn.

“Ginoza what’s going on? Why the client and why are you no longer doing this job?” She further asks in alarm.

How do I answer this question when there are so many ways that I can? Do I just make up a bogus story of which I know she won’t buy at all or do I tell her that I acted like a total fool and got myself involved with a local which ended up that I did things that I shouldn’t have and then it turned out that he was my target and I just can’t bring myself to kill him…?

“My target is a cop; do you want me to kill a clean cop?” I answer instead and it’s the truth and to be honest I shouldn’t even have debated with myself if I should kill him or not. The answer should have been cleared enough right from the very beginning. This is not how I work.

 “No, that was our agreement wasn’t it? Not to kill any innocent otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to be your agent in the first place.” She replies and I’m glad that she hasn’t forgotten about our truce. That had been the deal from the very beginning, the exact same one I had with my first agent but he ended up crossing me over.

It’s in times like these that you learn the true character of someone and right now I’m relieved that even after all these years, Shimotsuki hasn’t changed at all. She’s still the same woman she was back when she was just a simple realtor agent working for a firm that she loathed down to the very core.

That had been so long ago…

I remember when I met Shimotsuki one late night. It wasn’t long after I had eliminated my first agent and I was jobless more than half of the time and I came across an alley when something caught my attention. Screams belonging to a woman’s and voices of a few men could be heard in the darkness within the ally; I didn’t need to see what was happening to know what the situation was.

I don’t even know why I had my gun on me that night but I sure was glad that I did. I didn’t care who they were as I put a bullet in their heads one by one until none of them were left alive. All I left alive that night was this helpless woman who’s clothes had been torn and barely hid anything and even though I should have left her there and departed without a word, I didn’t. I just couldn’t abandon her in that ally with those bodies and I don’t know maybe it was the lack of fear in her eyes as she looked up at me or maybe it was something else.

I gave her my jacket and carried her in my arms as she told me her name, who she was, how those men started harassing her and about her job, how it wasn’t what she had hoped for. That she had been forced to abandon her primary dreams because they were not of any possibility of her to achieve and I listened as I carried her to my home which I shouldn’t have but I did. I invited this woman that I barely knew anything about into my world and that’s how our partnership became and I regret nothing, I don’t regret these nine years at all.

“Right…” I agree and add, “I don’t kill for Yakuzas.”

“What do you need?” She asks.

“A name.” I answer back as I get up once I’m satisfied with the papers that have now turned into ashes in the small flames.

I walk back into the house and climb up the stairs and go into the bedroom, waiting for an answer from Shimotsuki as I hear her type onto her keyboard rapidly.

“Client’s name is Joshu Kasei, that’s all I have. I don’t have anything else to give you, I’m sorry Ginoza.” She says.

“It’s alright, that’s all I need.” I tell her.

Actually I know the name; I know who this person is. Joshu Kasei leader of the Kasei clan has been a problem on this island for a very long time. I remember my dad had been working on cases involving the Kasei clan in the past and more than half of them always ended up in cold cases.

“Ginoza… You’re going after Kasei, I know that…” Shimotsuki states and I can feel pain in her voice as she spoke. She knows me too well; I can’t hide her anything not even when we’re talking on the phone she just knows.

“I am.” I answer truthfully as I open my dresser and take out a black case from under my clothes.

“This is it isn’t it…? I’ve long prepared myself for this day to come and even so, I’m not ready. This can’t be the end, that I’ll never see you again.” She says and I know that she’s crying right now but we both knew that there was never a happy ending for me.

Anyone who works in this line and claims to have a happy ending are either fools or lying. In this line your fate is already set in stone and if you’re not willing to die then don’t start. For us, we don’t live a long life until we grow old. We die on the field, there’s nothing else for us and I’m fine with that.

“You know that I never miss my targets but we had a good run Shimotsuki” I tell her and I can’t say otherwise we did have a good run and the thing is that I know even after I’m dead, Shimotsuki will be fine. She doesn’t know it but I’m not leaving her with nothing, she’ll be alright it’s the least I can do for everything that she’s done for me in those nine years. She’ll be fine without me.

“Don’t die… Let it be the last job, I’m hiring you to take down Kasei so you make sure to live just so you can come home.” She tells me and I can’t help but smile at that and I have to stop myself from saying that I am home already but I know what she meant.

“I’ll call you when it’s done.” I tell her like I always do when I take a job but we both know that this time it’s only empty words as I hang up the phone.

I won’t be calling to tell her that the job is done, that I’m coming back because yes this is the last job and everything will be over. Everything ends with this.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kougami

When I woke up this morning I didn’t expect to be able to make love to Gino, I wanted him to get his rest but I was thrilled that he allowed me to pleasure him before I left for work.

I’m still worried that maybe he might be pushing himself in order to please me and that he’s just not ready to go further or I might just be over thinking here.

To say the least that sure started the day off on a good point, now the day won’t go by fast enough for me. The thing is that I just want to spend as much time as I possibly can with Gino. If I didn’t have this case right now, I would have called in sick this morning just so I could have held him longer in my arms.

I know Gino understands why I had to go but I think I unintentionally hurt him yesterday when I left for work. I woke up and couldn’t help but admire how he laid there sleeping peacefully, I just didn’t have the heart to wake him up but now that I think about it I should have woke him up or at least left a note behind or something but I failed to do either one.

It had been his first time… I was his first and when he woke up that morning and saw that I wasn’t there next to him, with no note or anything, I can only imagine the thoughts that must have went through his head. He must have thought that I had stood him up, that I had only wanted a one night stand and that wasn’t my intentions at all but I acted poorly… The fact that I wasn’t there when he woke up after he lost his virginity, I know it hurt him and for that I feel awful.

I know that he’s feeling guilty about having slept with me on the first night and then he wakes up and I’m not even there to tell him good morning. I was fucking careless and it was insensitive and the only thing that’s helping me right now is that he agreed to give me a chance but I can’t make another mistake.

When I saw him still sleeping at that hour I knew something was bothering him and I knew too fucking well what it was too but I brushed it off and figured it be best not to bring it up unless he did and Gino didn’t.

The thing is that it was pointless to try and give him an excuse or a long story, it wouldn’t have fixed anything so instead I didn’t dwell on it and chose to focus on showing him that I didn’t abandon him after one night. That I wanted more than just a physical relationship and that taking his virtue wasn’t what I wanted from him. Hopefully that he truly believes my intentions and that I love him but he did give me a chance to prove myself so I think that he does so I’ll hold on to that.

“Sugo tells me that you haven’t slept home in the last two days.” Akane voices out rather cheerful this morning as she sits down at her desk and gives me a soft smile.

“Yeah I haven’t. I think it’s going good with Ginoza.” I answer, returning her a proud smile.

I do hope that it is actually going good and not just a fabrication of my imagination but I think Gino would tell me if something wouldn’t be at his liking. He doesn’t seem like the type who would go along with what the other wants if he’s not okay with it. He’s shy but I know he’s not afraid to speak his mind.

I really want this to work, I really like Gino. I never thought I’d ever feel so strongly towards someone else like I do with him and I’m afraid after one week he’ll tell me that it’s not going to work and he’ll leave and then I’ll never see him again.

“Just don’t rush things okay Kougami.” She tells me, not like she needed to. I know that’s one thing I mustn’t do with Gino. I can’t push him, we need to go at his own pace and advance further when he’s ready and I’m completely fine with that.

I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes.

“He’s insecure and keeps everything to himself.” I tell her as I close a file and put it aside.

“Who keeps to himself? Gino?” I look up from my desk to see Sasayama walk up to me and leans on my desk and adds, “He’s been that way ever since we were little; actually he got worse after his mom died when he was seven.”

I remember when pops told me about his wife’s passing when he had invited me to a New Year’s dinner when I had just transferred from Tokyo. He told me that she had become ill after giving birth to their son and she never recovered from that and was always sick until her death.

Gino never knew his mother other than being sick which might explain his outlook on life. I guess I can’t blame him and in a way I think he’s never had closure for his mom’s death. He was just so young when he lost her and I know for a fact that pops probably wasn’t there often because of his job but no kid should have had to go through that at such a young age. Want it or not it forces them grow up much faster than intended. Even if you don’t notice, the kid is already damaged and most don’t get the help that they need because we adults just assume that they are fine but deep down they’re not.

“Why did he leave?” I ask.

Thinking back at the thing Gino had said earlier about me using violence to bring him back to bed as I study Sasayama’s expression but it’s none changing. To be honest I don’t think they ever had anything romantic between them; it was probably just platonic on both sides but I could be wrong. Well maybe Sasayama did have some feelings for Gino at some point and why not Gino’s a ten and I know for a fact that Sasayama is bisexual so it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if he had a thing for Gino and the other just never returned the feelings back but I don’t think there was ever any violence between the two. I just don’t think so.

“I don’t know. One day he was here and the next he just disappeared without a trace.” Sasayama replied with a pained expression further hinting that maybe he had some feelings for Gino which only makes things a bit awkward just knowing that.

Sasayama isn’t a fool, I’m sure he already put one plus one together. He probably knows that I slept with Gino and that something is going on between the two of us which only adds salt into the wounds if he did love Gino or if he still does.

“What do you mean?” I ask back now that he has my full attention.

“He just left Kou. He left everything he possessed behind and just took off without saying a single word to anyone.” Sasayama explains and that is odd.

To just leave and not bring any of your possessions with you, that is weird unless you just don’t have any emotional attachment to anything which I rather doubt it. It doesn’t matter who you are, there is always one thing that you just can’t let go and Gino is no different, so for him to leave everything behind that is just beyond weird. Like he was contemplating suicide or something and he left Japan instead.

“Pops never touched Gino’s room, it’s still as it was before he left…” Sasayama further adds.

“Was Gino studying in something? Maybe something happened.” I ask.

That could explain why Gino left and the thing is that I’d rather believe that than the possibility that he was somewhat suicidal back then. I just can’t believe that he’d want to take his life, he just seems too proud for that, there’s no way he’d even contemplate the idea and I just feel ridiculous for even considering the possibility.

Back when I was in Tokyo, cases where university students suddenly dropping out and fleeing right afterwards was not uncommon; the thing is that most students are used to getting high grades in school and once they reach university they can’t keep up and in turn their grades suffer. They become so ashamed that they give up which only further adds to their shame and then they run in fear of their parents disapproval of their failures.

“Kou nothing happened… We had just graduated high school. He had been accepted in several universities across Japan, some of the best even and pops was getting ready to support Gino financially throughout his studies and that was it.” Sasayama tells me and continues, “Remove his mom dying out of the equation and Gino’s childhood was perfect. Pops always provided everything Gino ever needed, unlike me Gino never had to get himself a part time job. Pops had him covered.”

Yeah that sounds like something pops would do. Gino was his only son and after his wife died I’m sure he spoiled his son rotten to make up for not being there himself to try and take away of the pain that Gino must have felt after his mother died.  However, material doesn’t take the place of a parent and in the end Gino just wasn’t happy but it wasn’t pops’ fault. He was a single father and had to provide for his son and made sure Gino had everything that he needed.

It was nobody’s fault…

“Did he just not get along with pops?” I ask but I can’t believe that they didn’t get somewhat along. If I can get along with someone, anyone can. To be honest I get along way better with pops than with my own father and to this very day I still haven’t heard the last of his complaints for having joined law enforcement instead of going for as a lawyer or a doctor like he had wanted.

“Of course they had their arguments from time to time but it was never anything major. He got along with pops very well. That’s why no one understood why he left, actually for a very long time we believed that he had been murdered or kidnapped by Yakuzas or something.” Sasayama further adds.

If Gino really left without saying a word then I’ll assume that pops must have come home one night only to find the house completely empty. It would only be natural for pops to file in a missing person report and then when no news reached him, knowing pops he probably started checking himself for possible traces where his son could have gone and then eventually he would have found that Gino took a ferry out of the island and then got on a plane somewhere in Japan and flew himself out.

For a father who lost his wife early and loved his only child more than anything in the world it must have hurt to know that your kid left and didn’t bother to say goodbye or tell you why they left. You are then left with the unknown, not knowing if they are dead or alive. If they are in pain or not, you just don’t know and that’s the worst part…

“That’s cruel on his part…” Akane voices out and I want to say otherwise but she’s right. It was cruel for Gino to do to his father, there is no excuse for his actions and that’s something I want Gino to fix and to make things right.

“Gino was always distant, that’s just how he is. A guy of a few words but he’s not the same person that I once knew.” Sasayama says catching my attention again as I raise an eyebrow in question.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“The look in his eyes, it’s different now. The Gino I once knew isn’t in there anymore.” He replies as he straightens himself up from my desk and adds, “Honestly Kou. I’d keep my distance from Gino. He didn’t come back here for no reason and whatever it is I want no part in it.”

That sparked my fire and not in a good way.

“The hell are you trying to say Sasayama? You’re making it sound like Gino’s a beast or something.” I ask trying to remain calm but I’m starting to find that to be rather difficult to do as I feel like he’s accusing Gino of something and I don’t like it.

Gino is a good person and I’ll be damned if I allow anyone to drag him down in the dirt like that.

“I’m saying there’s something not right about all of this!” He raises his voice as he spoke and continues his rant, “Kou open your eyes here. The Kasei clan are being cornered on all sides and out of the blues Gino comes back without saying a single word.”

“Gino has nothing to do with-”

“He’s got the eyes of a bloody killer!” Sasayama cuts me off and I bolt to my feet and grab his collar and he does the same to me.

“Hey!”

Pops’ sudden booming voice forces us to release each other and he places himself between us giving Sasayama a sharp glare and then switching his gaze on to me as if warning us to keep our cool and not to dare make another scene.

“We have a raid to do and I don’t need my personnel at each other’s throats.” He lectures us and Sasayama walks off without saying a single word.

“Sorry about that pops, it won’t happen again.” I quickly apologize.

I shouldn’t have done that, I’m better than this I know I am but I allowed my anger to get the best of me and that was really unprofessional on my part. This is not how a detective should behave and if I want to eventually get promoted to an even higher position, this is not how to do it.

Pops nudges me to follow him into his office and he closes the door behind us but he doesn’t bother to sit down at his desk and simply keeps standing, looking me straight in the eyes.

“How’s my boy?” He asks. I knew he’d ask me about Gino eventually since yesterday we didn’t have much time to talk and he must be itching to get some news.

“He’s good.” I tell him and ask, “You don’t have plans for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s I hope?”

“No… It’s been eleven years since I last saw my son, even though I know he’s back I’m not putting my hopes up on seeing him.” He answers me, his voice pained as he spoke and that alone hurts me too. That pops is not even confident that Gino will come and see him. If I can do something about it, pops will see Gino this year and there will be nothing that Gino will be able to do or say to get himself out of this one.

“Pops, do you think like how Sasayama does? That Gino is here for something?” I ask but not really wanting an answer because deep down I’ve had my own suspicions about Gino right from the start but I kept shrugging it off. He’s a realtor agent, that’s what he told me and yet it’s so unbelievable but I keep telling myself to believe it.

Deep down I know it’s a lie…

I think I got angry at Sasayama because what he’s accusing Gino of, I’ve seen it. Something isn’t right with Gino, that I know but I keep telling myself that he’s simply damaged and hurt but deep down I’ve been walking inside a hornet’s nest blindly out of my own free will with zero cares about my own safety.

“I’d like to say no but I wouldn’t put the possibility out of the question but you’ve seen him and spoke to him. What do you think Kou?” He asks and I wish he hadn’t, I feel like I’m being put on the spot.

“I think he’s insecure and confused. He obviously can’t sit still for long, he doesn’t talk much and he’s got charms I’ll have to give him that.” I describe, trying to get the general idea of Gino out to pops.

“Insecure or starting to show remorse…?” Pops asks which confuses me a little.

“Now why would he feel remorse?” I ask back.

“Kou… Where’s my son at in this very moment?” He asks, ignoring my own question but I don’t like where this is going, not in the slightest.

“At his house, sleeping probably.” I answer.

“You and the little missy will go there and take Nobuchika into custody in cuffs. The rest of the team will go down on the raid.” He orders and I can’t help but feel my heart drop down to my guts. He can’t possibly be asking me to take Gino in like that, like he’s some sort of criminal.

“You can’t possibly ask me to arrest Gino-”

“That’s what I’m asking.” He cuts me off but his facial expression went from serious to pained as he adds, “Kou, don’t think poorly of me. I’m protecting my son before he gets himself killed. Now go.”

**XXX**

* * *

**XXX**

This day started out so great and now it’s quickly becoming a real nightmare by each passing second.

Pops’ words keep going through my head over and over as the car came to a halt and I bolt out of the car and run towards Gino’s home praying that my intuitions are wrong, that pops was wrong and that Sasayama’s accusations were false.

I turn the doorknob and enter followed by Akane. I quickly glance behind me to see that she has her gun in her hand and I have to force myself to look away as I head straight up the stairs and into the bedroom where Gino should be sleeping but the bed is empty.

I quickly go to the bathroom; there are some signs that he did take a shower not long ago since the inner walls of the shower are still wet but that’s all that remains, the water is cold so I’d say he must have showered not long after I left. I thought he had fallen asleep but he didn’t and I think Gino did on purpose to make me believe that…

“Gino!” I shout as I continue searching throughout the house but I get no response and Gino is nowhere to be found when he should be here and the fact that he isn’t leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

“Kougami there’s no one here.” Akane tells me. “Do you know where he could have gone to?” She asks and the thing is that I’m not sure. There’s the possibility that he might have gone after the Kasei clan and if that’s the case pops might run into him and I fear that maybe he’ll be shot and killed on the spot but then again we’re doing a raid on a drop but it’s not guaranteed that Kasei herself will be there.

I feel like all of this is my fault. I told Gino that I was working on a case concerning Yakuzas because I didn’t want to hide anything from him but I shouldn’t have because I think he’s gone after Kasei herself and it’s all my fault. I fear that Gino has gone to handle the situation himself and I can’t let him do that. It’s my burden to bear not his and Kasei needs to be brought to justice and that’s what I’ll do and I’ll save Gino at the same time…


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Ginoza**

Something is definitely about to go down today. The police are everywhere patrolling the city and if I didn’t know my way around I would have been in trouble but I was able to navigate through the back alleys without much problems.

What helped me to navigate through the city the most was that the sun had not risen yet so I’m thankful that Kougami did wake me up by accident since it’s always easier to get from point A to point B in the darkness than in broad daylight. You attract less attention that way and now that the sun has finally risen it’s time to get to work in a few minutes, I surely can’t rush things after all I already got a head start so I’m doing good time.

Knowing my dad and knowing the fact that he didn’t show up on my door step to give me one hell of a lecture and scolding can only mean that he’s already on to me for why I’m here. Maybe he hasn’t figured out exactly who I came here for but he knows what I am, I’m sure of it. After all, he’s not stupid he knows that something’s definitely up. I haven’t visited in eleven years and now out of the blue I come back and I don’t stop by to let him know. If I were him I’d arrest me too but I can’t afford to get arrested right now, not until Kasei is dead.

The police are wild today but it’s pretty easy to read what are their objectives; they’re all heading to the casino so my guesses are that dad must have issued a raid but it’s just a waste of time. Yeah they’ll seize illegal firearms, drugs and arrest several Kasei agents and maybe a few more shady characters but Kasei herself is not going to be there because chances are, she already knows about the raid way in advance. I’d be willing to bet that she has some insiders within the precinct giving her intel so she’ll be elsewhere but not too far away because she wants to be close to the action and while she’s focused on that, I’ll catch her completely off guard and eliminate her once and for all and be done with the Kasei clan and the island will be able to breath much better.

Gunshots catches my attention followed by police sirens, something is definitely going sour in the raid down at the casino. Some innocent bystanders are going to get hurt in that raid and a few cops won’t be coming home to their families tonight and I know that my dad is there and probably Kougami too, I just hope that they didn’t get caught in the crossfire…

I mustn’t think about that right now and all I can do is simply hope for the best over there. All I have to think about in this moment is Kasei and do what I do best. I can’t allow my mind to wander off so carelessly, I need to be focus and clear minded. There’s no more room for errors right now, it’s kill or be killed.

I set up my Heckler & Koch PSG1 and carefully position myself, ready to open fire when needed and I have just the perfect view of the estate from here to do so. First I carefully scan out the area, taking count of the sentries guarding the perimeters of the estate.

To be honest I was expecting more goons to be posted outside guarding the place so if there is this little it can only mean that the casino was only a trap to get police body counts and somewhat send a message to my father that he shouldn’t mess with the Kasei clan unless my dad already took that into consideration right before the raid even began but then again no matter how you look at it it’s still careless and a major loss on his side.

Kasei… She’ll stop at nothing to eliminate her opposition but she’s becoming desperate since she did stoop to the point of hiring a hitman to kill her target and if she wants a detective dead so badly it can only mean that Kougami is just that good at what he does and he was starting to give Kasei major problems and she needed him to be eliminated fast.

Kougami…

If Kougami is that good he probably figured me out already but he never acted on it so does that mean that he actually really meant what he said to me? If so it still doesn’t make much sense that he would be attracted towards me and I feel sorry for him that he feels that way towards me. I’m not a good person to get involved with; I never had a future to begin with…

One… Two… Three… Four… Five… Six… Seven and eight… There’s probably more inside the estate but it’s best to take out the ones outside first but who should be the unlucky bastard first to go down? Definitely not the ones in the front gate entrance, I better start from the back and quickly move my way down.

I carefully observe down below patiently for one to report over the radio and then I carefully take aim at a sentry’s head and pull the trigger and quickly switch to the next target. I swiftly switch to another target and then another until all eight have been taken out without any complications and none of them had the time to react and they never knew from where they were being attacked from. They were unable to radio in for assistance but even so I don’t have more than ten minutes to move and to get in closer and reposition myself for the next wave of enemy sentries.

I quickly stash my gun back inside my bag and swing it over my shoulder and bolt into a run down to the estate and waste no time to get into my new hiding spot that I had chosen before I started shooting. I pull out my gun from my bag and position myself again and then I wait patiently again.

When you have sentries on guard duty, it doesn’t matter where you go in the world they always have a similar patrolling pattern and if you know that then everything just becomes that much easier in your job.

They radio in the status of what they see and about their team every ten to fifteen minutes in interval, it doesn’t matter if they see something or not, they’ll report none the less. It’s a way to alert those inside that nothing is wrong and that the ones outside are all alive and well so the moment the ten to fifteen minutes time period passes without a response more will come out to inspect the situation and if you’re not ready for that second wave then you’ll be in trouble and probably end up in a body bag yourself.

When playing the game of sniper that’s the end game, it’s how patient are you willing to be? Sometimes you have to wait hours until you can get your target but if you are willing to wait and you know how to use your surroundings, playing sniper is the best tactic you can use in this profession. They can’t see you but you can see them perfectly and the key is never to shoot the ones closer to you first, you want to kill those who are farthest from you. That way, before the ones closer to you even notices that their comrades are dead, it’s already too late for them and if you can’t get a headshot, don’t take the shot it’s that simple. You want to kill, not injure and you want the minimum shots fired. That way it doesn’t come biting you in the ass later, always shoot to kill with the least amount of ammunition used that’s the code to sniping.

I start hearing voices and footsteps approaching and not long afterwards I see more men dressed in black suits come out with handguns in their hands and I can’t help but sigh at their idiocy. You’d think that they would approach with caution when they hear no news from their comrades and yet it doesn’t matter who it is or how heavily trained they are they always approach with no care at all.

Each time I expect some form of intelligence and each time I get disappointed as they come to inspect their comrades’ status and I wait patiently until they all step out into the opening standing there like complete idiots as they radio in about what they just found like seriously your comrades are lying dead on the ground and the first thing that you choose to do is stand right into open space when you don’t even know where the one responsible for those kills…

I sigh again as I take aim and start shooting my targets in the head one after the other until they’re all dead and then I wait again for the third wave of men to show up and not before long here they are, just as stupid as the others were and they receive the exact same fate.

Once I’m confident that I’ve got things under control I remove a small part of my gun making it no longer usable and I put it inside my pocket. Now that I’m going inside my PSG1 will be totally useless and I can’t have someone use it against me if they so happen to find it.

I take out my 19mm Walther PPQ and quickly attach the suppressor to the end of the barrel and step out of my hiding spot carefully making my way into the estate with my gun held high, ready to shoot at any given time.

**XXX**

* * *

**XXX**

Eliminating all that I see, it doesn’t matter who it is, it doesn’t matter if they beg for their lives or not, all who work for Kasei must die. They can’t be trusted, no Yakuzas can be trusted. If you let one live out of mercy, it won’t take long before you find yourself on the other end of a gun barrel and a bullet through your head.

In order to be good in this profession, you can’t care. All the kindness and compassion in your heart you have to kill it. Those things won’t help you when you have to pull the trigger and when you kill; I’ve learned not to look at the lifeless faces. It’s kill and move on.

Kasei made a mistake with her little plot, by sending most of her men at the casino to kill cops who were simply trying to do their jobs and keep the citizens safe. She left her estate almost completely undefended and in turn she’s made herself a prisoner inside of her own stronghold and that’s exactly how I like it. I want her to know how it feels to be cornered with nowhere else to run to, nowhere to hide and know that her life is timed with the knowledge that all of those who worked for her are dead and she’s all that’s left of her legacy.

She signed her own death certificate the moment she hired me and in turn she removed her focus off Kougami because she was confident that he would get eliminated soon. She probably never expected that her very own hitman would actually turn on her. I may be a contracted killer but I don’t murder innocent people, good people. I never do a kill without gathering my own information about my target first, even if I had never met Kougami I still would have found out who he was and I wouldn’t have taken his life.

Chances are that I would have turned on Kasei still but I wouldn’t have had the motive that I have right now. If Kasei lives then Kougami will die and that’s not even knowing who else will be next afterwards. Yes I want Kasei dead but I’m not doing this for me, with Kasei dead she won’t be able to hire anyone else to do her murders for her. I’m saving lives.

Funny how things turned out… I came here for a job and I’ll do a job by my own rules and killing Kasei will do the world a huge favor. No one will miss Kasei and her party, actually they’ll be rather happy to see them gone…

So far things are much too quiet but there can’t be anyone left alive who can protect her and in order to prevent her from escaping I damaged every single vehicles on this property before I started taking down her men. There’s no possibility of her running away now.

The only way out of here is by foot and knowing how she thinks, she wouldn’t try to walk out. It would be disgraceful and not to mention much too risky for her to be apprehended by police and after all she doesn’t seem like the type who would flee to begin with. Actually she’s the type who would try to negotiate herself out of this predicament, she’d try to buy my loyalty with favours and twist her words to try and get her way.

I continue navigating with caution through the large estate and I enter a hall leading to a large sitting area and sitting in a rather large fancy chair is a short thin old woman reading an old book. I cautiously approach quickly scanning the room, she’s completely alone.

She looks up from her book to look at me, her expression completely neutral as she gets up; setting her book down onto her chair and even though I have a gun pointed towards her she doesn’t seem worried in the slightest. 

“Impressive, you’ve got talent.” She states in a calm tone to me as she takes a step away from the chair.

“That’s what I do.” I simply reply back, never lowering my gun.

“It’s a shame to see such talent wasted, you could do much better.” She adds not like I wasn’t expecting her to try to pull a stunt like this one. She’s already trying to buy my loyalty, how predictable on her part.

She must take me for a fool but I can’t tell if she’s aware who I actually am, not that it matters in the slightest. However, she’s exactly how I had imaged her to be. She’s old so she knows her way around, she knows how to manipulate people in order to get her way but her persuasive skills are not the greatest, to be honest I was expecting her to be better at it and yet she’s not begging for her life. She doesn’t fear me, probably because she doesn’t believe that I’ll kill her.

“You’re a smart young man and handsome too but you have no goal, no ambition. Work for me and you’ll never have to worry about wealth and security ever again.” She adds and it’s almost laughable, as if she thinks that flattery will save her life and her offer doesn’t actually mean anything. Everything she says are just empty words in order to get her way, only a fool would take it.

“Goal? Ambition? Oh I have both, you provided me with those two things yourself.” I tell her as I carefully take aim but she remains unnerved and emotionless as she continues staring at me.

“And once you have accomplished that what will you do next? Where will be your goal, your ambition then?” She asks and adds, “I see a smart and talented young man who’s talents are being wasted away into nothing.”

“Might be but then again what will become of me doesn’t concern you when you don’t have a future.” I reply back, uncaring and not bothering to put any emotions in my voice. Of all things she doesn’t deserve even that before dying.

“You’ll kill me knowing full well that you’re not walking out of here alive. You’re a dangerous man; I like that fierceness and boldness.” She states.

She’s right on that part; I don’t plan on walking out of this estate alive because once I do this I won’t have anywhere to run. I won’t be able to leave this island without my dad catching me and I refuse to go to jail. For me, I’ll go six feet under and I’m perfectly fine with that.

“You’re not begging the right person for your life. I’ve already made up my mind about killing you.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Kougami**

How could I have missed all of the signs, how could I have been so ignorant to the truth when everything was right in my face? I’m a fool to have turned a blind eye…

I know with without a doubt that Gino is a good person. He’s kind and I know deep down he has a soft heart but I can’t comprehend how he could possibly turn his heart into a block of ice just like that and kill people?

From the moment that I met him he avoided people, kept a low profile and when I tried to get closer to him he would try to withdraw. I know he didn’t come here to visit anyone, I know he came here to do a job the only thing is that I’m not sure if he came here to finish some business or if it was simply just for a specific job and nothing more.

Now that I think more about it I must have scared him when I revealed what I was, that I was a detective. He probably thought that I was on to him which would be a reasonable thing to conclude too and now I wonder if everything that has happened after that, if it meant anything at all? He never told me that he loved me back, did he just used his body to keep me occupied and blinded to everything else?

_Careful… If you snoop too close you’ll find yourself on the other end of the target. Don’t mess with Yakuzas, it won’t end well…_

I thought he was saying that because of what I had told him about my current case and he was only saying it out of concern for my wellbeing. It wasn’t much and I didn’t linger on to what he had said but exactly what did he mean by that and why did he even say it in the first place if I now consider what he is?

_Don’t think you can’t be killed… Anyone can be killed…_

When he had said that it should have raised a red flag immediately but the thing is that I just didn’t want to believe it. What he said, it’s just not something a person would normally say to another and now that I think back to when he spoke those words was that his way of warning me to back off back then? Warning me to stay away from the Yakuzas for my own safety or that the reason he warned me was because the reason he’s actually here is to kill Kasei herself and he simply didn’t want me to get in his way but if that would have been the case, if I had been an obstacle to him, he could have killed me in my sleep but if he had it would have raised too much suspicions on him and Gino knows this…

Today is nothing but a total mess, a complete flop… Nothing is going how we had planned.

We managed to seize illegal firearms, drugs and make a few arrest but the raid in general was a total failure. Everything that was confiscated was illegal but it wasn’t anything that could be tied to Kasei herself. Yes her men were there but the ones owning the illegal contents were not hers and the raid cost more than what it was worth.

Everything turned sour all thanks to Sasayama’s recklessness when he spewed out his badge at the worst possible time which ended up in Sugo getting shot in the neck.

I’m not sure how, it sure was a bloody miracle that Sugo didn’t die instantly and Kunizuka was able to stop the bleeding until paramedics arrived and then they took over but Sugo wasn’t the only one who went down in that raid…

Sasayama wasn’t without injuries but he’ll live and when I see him again I’ll make sure to knock his brains out. Kagari also got shot and he got hurt pretty bad too but I’ve been told that both Sugo and Kagari were going to pull through but it would be a very long night for them…

The raid failed, we lost some good cops today and Gino was nowhere to be found on site and now I just don’t know where he could have run off to. It’s either he saw his chance and fled the country already or he’s going straight for Kasei…

Gino… You fucking fool…

It’s not like we don’t know where Yakuza groups are located around Japan, after all they all have permanent homes and that’s where they conduct most of their businesses but in order to search their properties we need warrants and Yakuza members are everywhere and getting warrants are never that easy. We can’t just raid Yakuza’s home. It would be like entering the slaughter house and the outcome would be a lot worse than what transpired at the casino today.

“Kougami do you have any idea where Ginoza could have run off to?” Akane asks as she drives through the busy streets.

“Yeah I might…” I answer and to say the least I don’t like it, knowing that Gino was foolish enough to storm right into a danger zone like that all alone leaves a bad taste in my mouth. “We’ll find him right in the heart of Kasei’s territory.” I add.

“We can’t possibly raid the estate with just the two of us.” Akane voices out with good reasoning but we have to, at this point do we even have a choice? We were given orders by pops to arrest Gino and if he’s gone to Kasei’s estate we have to go after him.

“Probably not but in this situation it can’t be helped. With Sugo and Kagari fighting for their lives and Sasayama injured we’re already down on man power.” I tell her as I inspect my gun to make sure that I’m not going in on empty and that I’m ready to shoot if need be.

Normally you wouldn’t raid a Yakuzas’ headquarters with only two people, it’s basically suicide but this isn’t normal circumstances and thanks to Sasayama’s recklessness the task force is pretty much in disarray and in complete shambles. Sugo and Kagari were not the only ones who got hurt in that raid, too many good cops won’t be coming home to their families tonight and I’m not about to allow Gino to become another casualty here and now I understand pops even more. He feared this; he feared that Gino would do something so stupid.

“Let’s say that Ginoza has gone after Kasei, he can’t possibly think that he can get to her unharmed.” Akane tells me and that’s the thing I’m having a hard time to take.

If everything is true and Ginoza really is a professional hitman of which I’m certain that he is then he knows how to kill quick and efficiently but the fact remains that he’s still just one man and I fear that there’s more to this than I think and that fear is gripping down on me hard.

“Yeah… I know…” I respond after a few seconds of silence.

The car comes to an alt and I bolt out of the car with my gun tightly gripped in my hands as I step on the property only to find it decorated in bodies. I bend down to check a few for vital signs but there is none and what’s worse is that there has to be over a dozen men lying dead on the ground here but the bodies are still warm so these kills were recently made…

Gino…

Did you do this? You did didn’t you…?

From the looks of the wounds I’d say these kills were done by a long range gun and I have to say that they are perfect headshots. This sure isn’t Gino’s first tango and I honestly don’t know what is worse… Just how deep and how far as he fallen?

“Akane be careful.” I tell her as we split up.

I enter the estate and leave the exterior to Akane and I’m glad that I did, I’m obviously on the right trail. Every room that I enter and every hall I take I see bodies lying on the ground with a bullet in their head. It’s without a doubt a perfect kill done by a professional hitman alright however the kills outside and the ones inside were done with two different guns. The ones outside were killed by long range sniper style while the ones inside were shot by a 19mm handgun and both guns had a suppressor attached to the barrel.

I knew that Ginoza was hiding something; I knew he wasn’t a realtor agent and that he was training for something else than just muscle building but at the time I just couldn’t put my finger on it… No… I knew what it was I just didn’t want to accept it. Everything about Gino screamed his profession loudly-

“You’ll kill me knowing full well that you’re not walking out of here alive. You’re a dangerous man; I like that fierceness and boldness.”

The voice of a woman catches my attention as I step closer towards a hall, advancing cautiously with my gun held high.

“You’re not begging the right person for your life. I’ve already made up my mind about killing you.”

I know that voice, the very same voice that I fell in love with within a heartbeat… It’s Gino’s without a doubt and slowly I approach and enter a large sitting room with a few elegant furnitures in it and there they are. A short thin old woman dressed rather elegantly who is without a doubt Kasei and then there’s Gino dressed all in black from neck down pointing a gun towards the old woman.

I didn’t want to believe it but any fragments of hope that I was wrong about Gino are gone. It’s without a doubt that he’s done this before. His gun is perfectly well cared for and it’s of great quality. His gear, his clothing choices are some of the best quality without a doubt. It’s form fitting and rather tight against his body and yet it looks like Gino can move freely in it in all comfort but I’d be willing to bet that it also helps to minimize muscle injuries. I have to give it to him; he came in prepared for this.

“Gino put it down.” I tell him loud and clear but he doesn’t move. “You’re better than this, this isn’t you so put it down.” I add as I step a bit closer, my gun pointed towards Gino.

“You don’t know me.” He answers coldly and yet calm but he never lowered his gun, always fixated onto Kasei.

“Gino put the gun down! Let me bring Kasei to justice!” I tell him as I look towards Kasei for a minute and the damn woman doesn’t even seem afraid in the slightest. Actually she’s rather enjoying this, I’m sure it would please her if I pulled the trigger on Gino and I think that’s what she wants too and just knowing this I just can’t allow her that satisfaction.

“This is justice, getting what she rightfully deserves.” He answers back, his voice definitely not without resolve. He’s absolutely serious and yet he hasn’t shot her yet and it’s not just because I’m here, he had his chance and yet he’s hesitating. He knows that this is wrong and just like pops had said maybe he is starting to show remorse about his past actions but he doesn’t have to do this, I can’t let him do this.

“Gino look at me.” I tell him and again he doesn’t move. “Look at me!” I tell him again raising my voice and he finally looks at me. His green eyes just as beautiful as ever but he’s at his limit, he’s crashing and he’s crashing hard.

His eyes are dull and dead, he’s tired I know he is. He might not want to admit it but I know it took more effort than usual for him to kill this time. He can’t do this anymore, it’s tearing him apart.

“It’s over Gino don’t go down with her, it’s not worth it. I don’t want to shoot you but I’ll have to if you don’t put down your gun.” I calmly tell him as I pray that he lowers it. I don’t want to have to pull the trigger; I don’t want to shoot him. I don’t care what he is or what he’s done; it still doesn’t change the fact that I love him.

He swallows and looks away and back towards Kasei for a few minutes and slowly he lowers his gun and then looks back at me as he drops the firearm onto the ground. His eyes tell nothing but defeat, he’s tired and I can tell he’s had enough. Everything that he’s done, all the people that he has killed, everything is finally weighing down on him.

The sound of a gun firing snaps me out of my thoughts followed by another and Gino drops down to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Kougami**

That’s not what was supposed to happen, that’s not how it was supposed to go down.

Gino wasn’t supposed to get hurt back there. All I had to do was to get him to lower his gun and to my relief he did, he even dropped it to the floor in complete surrender and everything from that point was going to be alright but I shouldn’t have taken my eyes off Kasei.

I don’t even know why I took my eyes off that damn woman in the first place; Gino wasn’t the threat in that situation. Kasei was but I was just so focused on stopping Gino that it didn’t even occur to me that Kasei could have been armed with a weapon of her own. Just waiting for her chance to draw it to shoot Gino or me and she sure as hell didn’t miss her chance when it presented itself and she took it without a second thought.

I don’t even know when she pulled out that gun, the only thing that I do know is the sound of the first shot echoing in my ear and Gino dropping onto the floor like a leaf falling from its branch.

The second shot, I just didn’t care. Nothing was processing in my mind properly anymore, it was only later that Akane told me that Kasei had been aiming to shoot me too but Akane was able to shoot her first and unfortunately Kasei died from her wound and we couldn’t take her to jail to serve her time like I had intended.

I’ll never forget Gino’s face as I held him in my arms while Akane called for an ambulance. There was so much blood pouring out of his chest and I could see the life being sucked out of him as he kept looking at me with those green eyes of his and I begged him to stay with me, begged him not to leave, to give me a chance and just like that his eyes closed and I just lost it in that moment as the paramedics arrived and took over.

I rushed to the hospital the moment that I could with my clothes still stained in Gino’s dried up blood. By the time that I arrived there, Gino was fighting for his life in the operating room or was he really? I’m not so sure. Before he closed his eyes I couldn’t see any fear of dying in them only that he was trying to say something but couldn’t…

After eight hours, the surgeon came out and gave the news that there had been some complications during surgery but Gino would live. The bullet had caused damage his right lung and had missed his heart by not much, actually the bullet grazed it a little but Gino was expected to make a full recovery in due time.

Gino’s heart monitor going flat jolts me out of my thoughts in a panic as I look up, only to find Gino finally awake and ripping everything that’s on him, his I.V, and heart monitor. It’s like he’s in a panic rush all of a sudden.

I bolt to my feet and rush to his bed side as he reaches for the tubes in his nose that’s providing him with extra oxygen for his damaged lungs and I quickly grab his hands to stop him from trying to remove them.

“You need those.” I tell him as I hold both of his hands tightly in mine. “And everything that you just ripped off.”

A nurse came rushing into the room in panic and then sighs in relief when she sees the reason why Gino’s heart rate went flat and proceeds to hooking him up again, including the I.V he had managed rip out of his arm much to his obvious annoyance.

“You can’t remove them. You’re in bad shape.” I scold him and the nurse gives me a smile before walking out and closing the door at my request.

With those tubes in his nose, topped with his pale skin and messy hair, Gino looks terrible. If I didn’t know any better I could actually mistake him for being terminally ill but even though he looks like he’s in terrible condition of which he kind of is but he’ll live, his eyes are still more alive than when I had held him in my arms as he was bleeding out.

“Are you here to read me my rights?” He manages to say barely understandable. “So you can take me to jail?” He continues with much difficulty.

He’s not stupid, I have to give him that much and yet he kind of is if he thinks that he would get sent directly to jail in his current condition. It’s rather stupid that he even considered that in the first place and besides it would be inhuman for me to take a severely injured man out of the hospital. For one thing, the law would never permit something like that anyway.

The thing is that by his facial expression he’s not afraid and I think at one point he is expecting to be sent to jail with a probability without a chance of parole or without an early release. Normally individuals who know that they’ll be going to jail start crying like little babies and they beg for a second chance to avoid jail time but not Gino. It’s like he doesn’t care.

“What are you saying? You were a hostage taken by the Kasei clan after a failed raid by law enforcement who barely escaped with his life, there’s no reason to send someone to prison for that.” I tell him but I can’t look at him as I say those words and add, “You can thank pops for that when you see him.”

When pops finally arrived at the hospital after I had called him to give of Gino’s status, I had carefully formulated this plan in my head. I had the perfect cover story to say in order to save Gino’s ass and I don’t even know why but I didn’t even have the time to say a single word that pops told me his intentions and how he would have Gino pass as a meer hostage survivor after a retaliation of our failed raid at Kasei’s casino and that would be the end of it.

Gino doesn’t respond at what I just said and instead he just looks away from me and I can’t tell if he’s thankful or not that pops basically lied for Gino’s sake. He put his whole career on the line for Gino when he knew full well what Gino has done and I’ll be damned if it back fires on pops because of his foolishness and carelessness.

I can’t blame pops for his actions towards his only child but…

I’m glad that Gino didn’t die and I’m happy to see him finally awake and that he’ll be okay but I’m also angry at him. I’m angry at all the things that he kept secret from me, but what I’m most angry about isn’t about his profession. I understand why he didn’t tell me the truth about that, how do you tell someone about such a thing and knowing full well that the other is in a cop. It’s not an easy topic to go on but I think eventually he might have opened up to me if given time.

I’m angry at the fact that he went after Kasei all by himself without any regard to his own safety. He didn’t care whether he lived or died. The thing is that I think I know why he did it but it doesn’t make things any better. It doesn’t make things alright, he shouldn’t have gone after Kasei the way he did. He shouldn’t have dirtied his hands like that…

“You’re not a realtor agent aren’t you?” I ask, already knowing the answer but I’m just curious to know if Gino has the balls to lie in my face.

After everything that’s happened, even if he did act like a complete fool. He can’t honestly think that I don’t know the truth about what he is and why he came here in the first place. I just want to know if he can be honest with me in this very moment.

“No…” He answers in a low tone, almost in a whisper and I have to be honest. I felt just a little bit of relief that he didn’t try to lie to me just then. He didn’t hesitate on his answer either but I wish that he would have looked at me when he spoke but it’s a start.

“I have to tell you that you’re under house arrest by pops’ orders. Don’t screw around with him; you won’t be getting a second chance.” I tell him exactly what pops had told me before and I’m hoping that Gino will take it seriously and won’t try to cause pops any trouble.

“I know…” He replies in the same low tone as before but he never looked up to face me again either and my anger just keeps on boiling and boiling.

I know he’s got a damaged lung and he’s probably in pain but he could at least show some remorse and concern but he doesn’t show any of that. He’s just completely numb with absolutely no emotions visible and the only thing going through my head at the moment is how someone can be so cold? I’m talking about his own father’s orders and all he says is I know. It pisses me off!

“You know? Hell you fucking don’t!” I blurt out as my rage comes spilling out as I continue my rant. “You’ve been nothing but selfish and self-centered for the past eleven years and pops is such a great man, he put his fucking job on the line for you!”

I observe Gino’s reaction to my words and I get nothing. He’s always looking down at his hands, not moving or saying anything as I pace around the room back and forth, trying to control myself from just grabbing him by the shoulders and shake him to get some sense into his brain.

“No explanation, no goodbyes, you just fucking took off!” I add, not bothering to lower my voice and continue, “How do you think that made your friends feel? How do you think that made pops feel huh!?”

I want Gino to look at me, I want to see what his eyes say but he doesn’t look up as if he knows that I’ll see right through him in a heartbeat. I want to hear him say that he’s sorry for how he behaved in the past, I want to see him act like a human being I know that he is. The good and kind man that I got to know and fell in love with; I want that Gino, the real Gino to come out and to put this monster that he’s created for some reason aside.

I know that he’s ashamed and I know for a fact that he’s feeling remorse for his past actions. He might have been a hitman but he’s not without a conscious and I know that right now he regrets what he’s done and yet there is a small part of him that I feel like he doesn’t at the same time.

“Not knowing if his only kid is dead or alive. You never once even thought about how anyone else felt, you just cared about yourself!” I further add, still trying to push him just so he’ll say something but again nothing and instead all I manage to do is further aggravate my own anger and frustration. “Kasei is dead anyway so that should give you closure, not like you fucking deserve it. Your target is dead so are you fucking satisfied now!?” I ask with more anger than intended but it’s not like I’m expecting Gino to answer me and yet I’m hoping that I’m wrong and that by pushing him this way will get him to snap back at me or something. I just want a goddamn fucking reaction!

“She wasn’t my target…” He quietly says catching my attention in the process.

So he still has a tongue, great…

“What? Oh great! Just fucking great Gino so you decided to kill Kasei just for the fun of it?” I blurt out and add, “So who was your target or wait did you already kill your target and got bored so you needed another-”

“You…”

“Wait what?” I ask back.

I feel like someone just stabbed me in the chest, he can’t have said what I think he said when he just cut me off like that, I barely heard him. I must have mistaken what he said; it can’t be what I think I heard. No way.

“It was you…” He repeats his answer as he looks up to face me for the first time since he woke up not long ago.

Gino’s eyes are filled with pain, his eyes are watery and it’s obvious that he’s fighting to keep them in, fighting to keep his emotions in check but he’s hurting. I wanted a reaction well now I got it but now that I got something out of him, I wish I hadn’t. I don’t like to see Gino hurting; I don’t like seeing his eyes on the brink of tears. Seeing him this way breaks my heart, it’s painful.

“Hey… Gino…” I gently say his name as I sit down on the side of his bed, pushing his bangs away from his face. “Why didn’t you?” I reluctantly ask, almost afraid to know the answer but I have to know.

I knew that he came here to kill someone; it wouldn’t have surprised me that it was Kasei his target right from the start, and after all it’s not like it’s uncommon for Yakuzas to hire hitmans to take down other Yakuzas’ leader so I assumed that might have been it. Even pops came down to the same conclusion as I did; I just never thought that I’d be a possible target marked for death.

“I couldn’t do it…” He replies with some difficulty catching his breath, “I was waiting for a name… And then you showed up… Things happened, it got out of control and then I got a name the next morning… But I couldn’t do it.” He adds a bit breathless as a tear finally manages to escape and rolls down his cheek.

“You considered it though.” I force myself to say and he looks back down to his hands as more tears come rolling down his cheeks and that answers it and I don’t know where I should go with this.

The fact that he did considered killing me or that he decided not to? I don’t know what to do with that.

“Was everything all just a lie from the start? Did you have any feelings for me at all?” I ask with a fear lingering in my mind that he’ll say no. That he never had any feelings at all and that he simply went along to what I had wanted just to keep me occupied.

Did he love me or was I the one who got played…? No that’s not right isn’t it? I was the one being the complete fool in this.

Right from the start Gino tried to avoid me; he didn’t come to my first invite. He tried to keep his distance and then I forced him to come to my next invitation which then turned sour and it was me who continued pushing and pushing.

Maybe he didn’t feel anything for me and maybe something grew in him or maybe it was nothing but we were just doomed right from the start by my own fault.

“I don’t know…” He mutters.

I wish he had said something else but I can’t demand more than what he has given me already. I already took too much in such a short period of time.

I called Gino selfish and careless earlier but I wasn’t any better. I was just as careless and selfish in my own ideals.

“Call me crazy but I still love you, that hasn’t changed…” I admit as I lift his chin up and wipe the tears with my thumbs and I have to stop myself from leaning in for a kiss and instead I ask, “Do you love me at least?” 

“I don’t know…” He answers, his voice low as he tries to evade my gaze.

It’s not a yes but I can be content with that for now. It had to mean something right?

“Fair… You let me know when you know because you’re worth waiting for.” I reply giving him a soft smile but Gino doesn’t give me one in return.

“What now?” He asks.

“That’s up to pops… After you got out of surgery I went through your things and I found your phone. There was just one number in the call directory so I called it.” I tell him as I pull out his phone from my pocket and I could have sworn I saw his face go completely white in a matter of seconds and he stopped breathing for a few seconds as I continue, “I learned that was your agent and I told her that you had been arrested and in order to clear up your name she had to come down here and give me every bit of information she had on you.”

His agent had been more than cooperative with pops and I. She didn’t waste any time to fly down to Japan and she had everything perfectly filed, everything properly organized when she got here to meet us. There was nothing that we ask that she didn’t have, she really was willing to do anything just to clear up his name in order to prevent Gino from facing jail time.

Mika Shimotsuki originally from the Hokkaido prefecture in Sapporo, daughter of the old owner of the Sapporo brewery before it was sold to someone else due to illness which lead to his death a few years later.

Her step mother had filed a missing person report for Mika not long after she had graduated from high school and shortly after her father’s funeral. Similar story as Gino but with no connection to each other what so ever which is kind of funny how they somehow got together but we didn’t care to ask what her motives for leaving was, I didn’t see a point of it anyway.

Shimotsuki told us how her partnership with Gino had begun and how they had met in Italy nine years ago. She then told us what had been Gino’s policy for jobs and how she had used her realtor business that she had founded a year after their partnership had begun as a façade for Gino to work much more smoothly and right up to his price kills. There was nothing she wasn’t willing to give us and I felt a little sorry for her because the thing we never told her was that she could have landed in jail right alongside Gino for what they’ve both done.  

“Gino… Look at me…” I tell him and he does but he looks so tired and defeated.

“Fifteen million dollars is in your bank account… And I know you charge a hundred thousand dollars a kill and that your agent takes fifteen percent of that so we’ve done the math to get a rough estimation and we came up to over three hundred people that you’ve killed.” I tell him but his expression doesn’t change and he doesn’t try to deny it either.

To be honest I almost fell off my chair when Shimotsuki gave me Gino’s bank account information and what he had in it. I just couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it; I was expecting something like in the thousands but not over a million. That’s a lot of people but pops estimates that Gino’s kill toll easily doubles to six hundred people in nine years and there is still that two years gap that Shimotsuki did not have for us but I can imagine the kill number is still quite high.

If pops is right and all, Gino’s kill count could be over eight hundred and I still think he’s being generous here.

“I lost count a long time ago…” He admits which I hate but at least he’s not boasting about it. It’s not something he’s proud of and he shouldn’t be.

“Gino… What you did was commit mass murder on a large scale but if we go public with this you’ll go to jail under the death penalty sentence, that’s without a doubt.” I tell him but again he’s not afraid, it’s like he wants to die and that only sends chills down my spine as I continue, “Pops chose to keep this hidden, we won’t confiscate your bank account or change your status from a hostage victim in this case but you can’t do this anymore.”

To be honest I wanted the whole fifteen million to be confiscated. Of course we wouldn’t have been able to dispose of it without attracting attention but my intentions would have been for Gino not to have a penny of it. It’s blood money, he doesn’t need something that filthy but then like pops had said it’s still his and if we do confiscate everything in his name it might only further push him away and he might resume this fucked up life so pops was willing to do a gamble.

I don’t like the idea of leaving Gino with so much cash, he can do practically anything and with so much that he has, he could practically pay his way out of here. I just don’t like it and he doesn’t need it and I will always say it but I will respect pops’ final decision. Gino is his son and I can’t go against that, I don’t want to go against that.

“I don’t know why you fell into that life and you don’t have to tell me either but whatever it is, let me help you. Let me take care of you, Gino…” I tell him and I mean it. I’ll take care of him; after all I can afford it. He doesn’t have to work, he can stay home all day and relax, get some rest. I’ll do anything for him; I want Gino to be happy.

“When I’m ready…” He replies after a few minutes of silence and I’m not exactly sure what he meant by that but I don’t think pushing the subject any further will do much good and it be best to just let it go for now…

**XXX**

* * *

**XXX**

“When I’m ready…”

Those were the last words that Gino had spoken to me during his recovery. He ate in silence and he never smiled either but I could tell that he was deep in thoughts and when the day came for his release to go home, Gino was no longer in his room.

No one understood how he had walked out of the hospital without anyone noticing only that he did and he was gone and so was Shimotsuki.

After everything that pops had done for him, Gino still turned his back on his father like it was nothing and what I don’t get is that pops never did anything about it. I can’t tell if he was surprised by his son’s actions or deeply saddened but once again Gino fled without a word and my only fear is that Gino will resume his old ways and the cycle will continue…


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Kougami**

A year ago I thought I had finally found the love of my life, someone I could be happy and grow old with and somehow I still feel like I had found that someone but the world is cruel and it managed to rip all of that away from me in an instant.

I was an idiot, a huge one too…

I had it all perfectly planned out in my head and everything. How I would have proved to Gino that I was serious about us and that my feelings were genuine but I had been living in a fantasy and I allowed myself to be fooled by my own ideas on how things should be… That’s not how things work… I should have known that things were going way too smoothly to be real. It was just too good to be true…

I ended up hurting myself due to my own damn fault but the thing is that I know I wasn’t the only one who got hurt in all of this. Gino was already damaged to some extent and I knew that when I started pursuing him but I thought that I could help him heal but I caused more harm than good…

“You’re going to pops tonight?” Sugo asks pulling me out of my thoughts as he walks to the kitchen.

“Yeah… That’s the plan.” I answer and ask, “Are you coming also?”

“No, my sister is obliging me to come over.” He replies as he joins me in the living room and sits down in his favourite chair.

Sugo’s scar from his neck injury that he received a year ago is fully visible and it only further helps to remind me what had happened back then and what I lost. It’s not something that I want to remember but I can’t ask Sugo to cover it up either. He’s had a complex with it for a long time and it’s only recently that he’s started wearing his usual shirts again, finally exposing a scar that says I survived when I should have died and I’m still alive and proud of it.

“I haven’t been able to reach the Scrooge yet to pay our rent. He’s nowhere to be found, kind of hard to believe.” Sugo tells me and yeah that’s kind of hard to believe considering how money hungry our landlord is.

Everyone around here all calls the old man Scrooge since he cares more about money than actually caring for his loyal tenants. For starters it takes ages for him to actually send someone to fix what’s broken or damaged around the beach houses but he never waste any time picking up the rent money and don’t try to ask him if it be okay to pay rent a bit later because you’ll never hear the end of it. He’ll say yes though but it will cost you in late fees so it’s better to pay the rent on time.

“Maybe old Scrooge is sick.” I voice out and that could be a possibility since the old man is in his late seventies or early eighties, I’m not sure but he’s an old bitter ass.

“Even if he was on the brink of death he’d still grab his money as if it could save his life.” Sugo replies back and that’s true too.

I still remember that time old man Scrooge came around with a severe pneumonia and ended up having to be hospitalized because of it. Crazy old man! The only thing that makes him somewhat bearable is that we all love the houses and we love staying on the beach and the privacy. Especially the privacy, we live near the city but it doesn’t feel like it and it would pain me if I had to move within the city limits. I’m too accustom to this and after a long day’s work it just feels so relaxing to unwind here listening to the waves, it’s just therapeutic.

Akane has voiced out that she doesn’t like the lateness of our landlord and has been trying to convince Shion and Kunizuka to find something else with her but like Shion said and I have to agree with her that it might be nothing either.

“Kougami… You barely knew Ginoza, you have to move forward and forget about him.” Sugo says calmly, saying the exact same thing everyone has told me one after the other at different points in the year.

The thing is that I know I should forget about him and I won’t deny that I didn’t know Gino for that long but somehow it just didn’t matter. He was the one, it was truly love at first sight, he was my soulmate and the world was just cruel towards both of us and it’s not fair.

The world had finally given me my one true love but it ended up twisting his soul in so many ways and now all I can do is keep asking myself if Gino had never fallen into that kind of life, would he have been the same? Could we have had a chance for a happy life together or were we always doomed to fail from the start?

A year has passed and it took a while for me to get over Gino but that’s a big fat lie that I keep telling myself because the truth is that I haven’t gotten over him. How could I?

Shion and Akane did set me up on several blind dates throughout the year but none ever worked out. I did try to commit, I did try to make it work but there was always something that caused me to push them away and we broke up.

It wasn’t because they were not great. They were wonderful but they were always lacking something and I just couldn’t click with any of them. The spark just wasn’t there.

It took me a while before I admitted to myself that the reason why none of those relationships worked out was because they were just not Gino. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I gave my heart to him, I gave him my whole heart and when he left I never got it back…

Every day I find myself visiting Gino’s home… Well not really his home but still kind of his but I stopped going about three weeks ago when a couple bought it and moved in. I didn’t want to make them feel at odd but a part of me was angry and sad that someone else was now living in a place where Gino and I could have had a future together and now it’s just a constant reminder of what could have been.

“See you later Sugo…” I tell him as I get up and walk out of the house without giving him the chance to say anything else and I quickly make my way towards the city; ignoring the people chatting about, getting ready for the festivities as I navigate through the crowd.

I will never forget the feeling I had when I arrived at the hospital that morning and the staff was in a complete frenzy and the moment they told me that they were searching for Gino, my heart just sunk right down to my guts. I didn’t want to believe that he was gone, that he had ran off but his empty room and vacant bed only help to prove that it was true.

After Gino left the country without a trace, I started following international news in order to try somehow to find him. I kept some tabs onto the Italian news but there never was anything captivating to point towards Gino. All the assassinations that did hit the news were way too sloppy to be Gino’s work considering how clean and precise his kills had been back at the Kasei estate. He really did know what he was doing and he managed to do all of that without getting a single scratch on him that is until I arrived to stop him.

Gino got hurt back then because of me but I couldn’t let him add Kasei’s death on his shoulders. He’s killed way too much already…

New Year’s Eve is always one of the most festive times of the year; it’s one of the things I love most about this part of Japan. It’s a small area compared to Tokyo and the weather is hotter down here but life feels much simpler especially since the Kasei clan are no more.

It’s also the only part of Gino that I still have. I know it’s crazy that I think like that but anything that I can hold on to in order to keep Gino’s memories alive I just have to take it.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love anyone again; maybe that’s what a part of me wants. Deep down I still have this hope that Gino will somehow come back to me one morning or knock on my door late one night and we could just all forget what happened last year and start anew but deep down I know it’s just wishful thinking and it will never happen. It’s still only just a fantasy in my head that will just never become a reality.

I open the wooden front gate and gently close it behind me as I look at the house that Gino grew up in for a few seconds before walking down the stoned path and up to the front door. I quickly knock and enter inside with the scent of cooking food welcoming me as I close the door and take my shoes off.

“Pops whatever you’re cooking sure as hell smells good.” I voice out as I make my way to the kitchen where pops his cooking so much things at once that it’s almost overwhelming but everything smells so damn good, it’s making my mouth water.

“So what kinds of osechi are we having this year pops?” I ask with anticipation to my ever growing hunger.

“All of them.” He answers rather joyful, more than he’s been all year which is great to see for a change.

“What’s the occasion pops? It’s just the two of us as usual.” I ask as I quickly steal a simmered shrimp and I evade pops’ attempt to stop me.

Pops’ simmered shrimps are the best shrimps I’ve ever eaten; no one could possibly beat pops when it comes to shrimps and his home cooked food is just to die for. I’d live here and yet living here would probably be bad for my weight but it would so be worth it.

“It’s New Year’s Eve; it calls to be a bit more special.” He answers and I can’t argue with that but he’s still over doing it a little. He’s got enough food here to feed at least four people but everything smells and looks delicious, I can’t wait and there’s no way that I’ll try to complain.

“Go upstairs for me Kou. Down the hall, last door on the right I forgot my mat to roll up my sushi.” He asks as he continues cooking, not bothering to look at me as he spoke.

Since when does he even do sushi rolls on New Year’s Eve and why doesn’t he keep the sushi mat in the kitchen? Maybe Pops keeps certain things in storage, yeah that’s probably it but still rather an inconvenience if you ask me.

“Yeah, sure.” I reply and waste no time going upstairs and down the hall just like he told me to. I open the last door on the right wide open only to freeze up. The room isn’t a storage space and it’s not empty either, Shimotsuki and Gino…

“I’m going to go downstairs.” Shimotsuki quickly says and leaves the room in all haste and closes the door behind her leaving the two of us alone.

My eyes are locked onto Gino who’s still sitting on the double bed, obviously his old one so this must be his old room. It’s not exactly what I had pictured when I imagined how it would look like but this basically tells who Gino really is deep down and it clearly says that he’s a sensitive individual but even so it’s hard to pin point his exact emotions…

I’m breathless, I never thought I’d ever see him again but here he is in the flesh even more beautiful than I remembered. His raven hair looks just as soft as ever with only shorter bangs and his eyes are glowing the most gorgeous shade of green that I have ever seen and his eyes no longer have that tired appearance that he had a year ago.

His skin is still just as pale as ever but it’s more vibrant and it just looks so flawless in that white woolen shirt with a delicate knitted pattern. The shirt itself is a tad bit large for him but he looks great either way and those blue jeans suit him so well. He looks so alive now; I don’t want to see him wearing black ever again.

“Hey.” He calmly says, his voice just as dazzling as ever but it’s softer now and just different but I love it even more.

“Hey.” I say back, rather lame but it’s all I can manage to blurt out in the spur of the moment.

There are so many things rushing through my mind right now. When did he come back and where has he been for a whole year and more to the point that I don’t even know with which question to start with and without overwhelming him either.

“You came back.” I say after a few minutes of awkward silence.

I’d like to say that nothing has changed but it would be foolish for me to ignore it. Gino has changed and from what I can see it was for the better but I can still somewhat read him. His eyes and his facial expressions still give away how he feels, that hasn’t changed.

Right now he’s nervous and isn’t really sure about what to say himself but he’s a lot calmer than he was a year ago. He’s more relaxed and seems to be somewhat content, something that he wasn’t before.

“Yeah…” He acknowledges as he gets up and slowly paces around his old room, still a bit uncomfortable.

Fuck!

I haven’t seen Gino in a year and the first thing that comes into my head as I watch him pace around is to push him against the wall, pull his shirt and pants off his body and just make love to him like crazy in every way possible until we can no longer walk straight.

What the hell is fucking wrong with me?

Maybe Gino is a bit uncomfortable and distanced himself from the bed because he might be sensing my lust towards him but damn his figure in those clothes is kind of hard not to want him.

“Where have you been? You left without saying a word.” I finally say, trying to get my mind off my damn lust for Gino with little success.

The more he paces around in his bedroom; I keep coming up with new locations on to where we could do it and I must say that Gino’s old room has so many possibilities.

Kou get your head out of the fucking gutter! Gino doesn’t exist just so you can make love to him! He’s a human being with feelings and emotions so get your head out of your fucking dick!

“I had things that I needed to take care of elsewhere, I couldn’t stay…” He answers and somehow I feel like he wanted to add something like I wouldn’t have understood and chose to cut that out or maybe I’m just imagining it… “I did go to my dad before I left, he asked when I’d be back but I couldn’t give him an answer at the time.” He adds almost sad.

Pops failed to mention that Gino had paid him a visit before he left the country with Shimotsuki and that kind of frustrates me a bit. I mean when I notified pops about Gino’s sudden disappearance he acted like he had no clue but now I know that he did know and that kind of hurts that he felt like he couldn’t tell me that much.

“I hope you didn’t kill again.” I blurt out wishing that I held my tongue but Gino gently shakes his head as he continues pacing around the room.

“No. I sold my home in Italy, finalized some things there and here I am.” He tells me, not that it should come as a surprise that he owned a home somewhere in Italy and yet I am. With the kind of life he was living, he didn’t seem like the type to stay in one place for very long. I guess I was wrong but I’m sure he barely was there anyway so did it even matter?

“And here you are…” I repeat his last words as he sits down on a rather comfy chair in the corner of the room.

I never saw Gino’s bedroom, even before I met him I never saw it and pops never tried to show it to me either. It was a part of the house that was never shown or talked about but now that I’m in here it’s easily three times the size I had when I was a kid.

Back when I lived with my parents I had a simple single bed, a night table, a dresser, a closet and that was it but Gino… He has a large double bed, two night tables on each side, a dresser with a mirror and a tall dresser. He has a desk that I’m sure he once used it to study and work on his laptop and in a corner he has a good size flat screen tv, a coffee table with a beanie chair and then on the other corner there’s that chair that Gino is currently sitting on which I’m certain that he used for reading given the natural lighting of the window next to the chair and to top it all off he has his own bathroom and it looks like he has a pretty large closet as well.

Gino really did have everything that a kid could have ever wanted; Sasayama wasn’t exaggerating on that part. Everything that’s in this room is good quality and nothing looks cheap either, even the random things he has on his desk and dressers look somewhat expensive.

“I lost my mother when I was young…”

“I know.” I acknowledge and I want to hold him in my arms but I don’t, I don’t think he wants me to. I don’t know why I feel that way.

Even though Gino finally came back to Japan; that he sold his Italian house and took care of certain things over there can only mean that he’s returned home for good which I’m happy about, I really am but I don’t feel like he came back for me. I wish that he did come back for me and I wish that he wants to be with me but he didn’t try to contact me once since he got back whenever that was.

“My mother never worked, she stayed home with me but after she died my father sunk deeper into his work and he wasn’t here much.” He further tells me and I stop myself from saying that I know again, I feel like it’s something he wants to get off his chest so I let him talk, “I know why he threw himself into his work but it doesn’t change that I barely saw him as I grew up and I guess I started getting angry at his job. I felt like it was more important to him than I was.”

I want to say something to that but I stop myself from doing so. I’m sure that Gino knows that pops never loved his job more than he loved him but I get what Gino means. When you’re a kid and you see your parents work more than being there for you, you start thinking that maybe your parents do love their work more than their kids. It’s sad but it’s true…

“I knew it was wrong but I started demanding for more and more just to get a reaction from him and when I didn’t get it from material alone, I started going for bigger things. At that point he should have said enough was enough but he never did.” He further adds and gets up and paces around the room a little before stopping in front of his desk and picks a little stuffed fox in his hands before continuing, “He had my room expanded just like I had wanted and then he had a bathroom built just for me even though I didn’t need one. All of those things were not necessary and it was just pure spoilery on my part. All I wanted was for him to just tell me no, to get angry at me for my behavior but he never did.”

“He gave you everything you wanted to make you happy and to make up for not being there.” I state and basically that’s what pops did. The thing is that I can’t blame him for doing what he did but it doesn’t make it right.

I can understand how Gino must have felt back then. To grow up alone in an empty house and feel like you’re not even there and wonder how things would be if you just disappeared. That’s how my parents made me feel, their jobs always came first and me second but I had friends to keep me occupied and I just went and did things to clear my mind.

From the little that Sasayama told me, it sounds like Gino didn’t have many friends and he was a victim of severe bullying back in high school so he was completely alone with no one to catch him as he fell and not to mention that he was already hurting from the loss of his mother.

The sad reality is that Gino could have turned out far worse…

“I felt like I was invisible, like he only gave me what I wanted just so I would get out of his hair. I felt problematic for him…” He admits as he carefully places the stuffed fox back on his desk and leans on it and faces me.

Gino’s eyes show the pain that he’s had on his chest for so long and it hurts to see it but at the same time it’s a relief to see him opening up to me. He was so closed off a year ago and even though it’s not much, to me it’s huge. It can’t be easy for him to tell me about his darkest moments but I’m happy to hear them even if it pains me.

“After I graduated, everything was spiralling out of control and I just couldn’t take it anymore… I wanted to die but when the time came I didn’t have the guts to it.” He says as he starts pacing around the room again. “I ran away and I found a profession that was very dangerous and I figured I would you know die a young and quick death but I ended up being really good at it.” He painfully adds and now everything makes perfect sense. I don’t like it but it makes sense.

My past theory that Gino had been suicidal was correct and yes it hurts to know that he fell that low and had no one to catch him to make things alright and it hurts that he started that god forsaken job just so he could die because he was too afraid to take his own life himself but I’m glad that he couldn’t do it and I’m glad that he ended up being good at what he did otherwise I never would have met Gino.

I won’t ever let him fall into that darkness again and I will never let him feel like he’s alone. I’ll do everything in my powers to make sure that Gino will be happy. He deserves to be happy and he will be and he will grow old to see so many good things that this world has to offer.

“I only ever took the lives of criminals and those who would do real mass murders. Just knowing that was enough for me pull the trigger. Just knowing that that man’s life would save hundreds if I killed him and I didn’t have a problem with it.” He adds and stops pacing around and looks down to his feet.

“You felt like your actions were justified.” I finish what he wanted to say and he gives me a gentle nod.

“Many of my clients were government officials so was I wrong? I don’t feel like I was but I was tired even Shimotsuki had told me that I was crashing and she was right. I was tired and what you saw a year ago was me crashing really hard.” He admits.

I have to say that I’m not one bit surprised that Gino received many contracts from government officials. After all, there is nothing shadier than the government in this world but I can’t exactly condemn the kills that Gino has done either. The people that Gino has killed over the years were dangerous people who could have caused some serious harm to innocent people if they had lived.

Gino ended up becoming a hitman in order to die but he then started taking down dangerous men by going outside of the law and ended up protecting many innocent people in the process. Almost similar to what I do, only that I follow the law but sometimes following the law can’t always bring justice. That I know but someone needs to uphold it and I will.

“Then it’s over, you don’t have to do any of that anymore. I can take care of you.” I tell him as I walk closer and wrap my arms around his small figure and I caress the back of his head as I get him to rest his head on my shoulder.  

His hair is just as soft as I remembered it, maybe even softer than before and his scent is intoxicating. Just holding him in my arms, I missed it so much and it just feels so right. It’s where Gino belongs and I’ll protect him until my last breath and I’ll take care of him until my last day.

“You can stay with me if you want. Unfortunately a couple bought the house you occupied a year ago.” I tell him and I don’t think that Sugo would mind if Gino would stay with us but I’m not sure if Gino would be okay living in a house with a roommate though.

“That is us.” Gino replies and slightly pulls away to look at me and now I’m confused.

“So you and Shimotsuki are?”

“No. We’re just temporary roommates and Shimotsuki isn’t interested in men. She’s just staying with me until she decides where she wants to stay.” He explains and gives me a soft smile.

“You failed to notify me of your return.”

“I wasn’t ready.” He answers back and I can’t help but grin at that.

“So is that an invitation?” I ask as I press his body closer to mine, his hands on my chest and our face only inches away from one another and I have a painful urge to close off the gap and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow but I don’t but god damn is it hard.  

“I guess it is.” He replies and doesn’t try to push himself away from me and that alone is the best feeling in the world.

Gino came back, he didn’t come to me immediately but he came back and hasn’t rejected my advances to restart anew. In this moment I’m the happiest guy in the world, I couldn’t possibly ask for more.

“I’m going to have to notify my roommate if I move out.” I tell him and I just hope that won’t cause friction between Sugo and I when I do tell him of my intentions to move out to live with Gino. Especially considering what happened last year.

Gino gives me a puzzled look as I try to recall if I had told Gino that I lived with a roommate or not a year ago. Not that it should bother right now, if he didn’t know already, he knows now.

“My roommate can’t afford rent on his own and then there’s the thing with our landlord he hasn’t picked up his rent for the month yet and it’s overdue.” I explain.

That’s two things that might cause Sugo some stress when I tell him that I’ll be leaving to live with someone else but we both always knew that one day one of us would leave to be with someone that we love. Our living conditions were just temporary.

“Because there is no rent this month.” Ginoza quickly blurts out which only helps to further confuse me.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“The whole beach was up for sale, including the beach houses and there was no security for the current tenants in the contract so whoever wanted to buy the beach houses had full rights to throw the tenants out on the street with only a thirty days’ notice.” Gino tells me a bit too casually with zero concerns, like it was no big deal.

Fuck!

If this is all true then it must mean the old man Scrooge sold everything and if that’s the case we all probably only have a week left to find a new home.

“What!? I didn’t know about this, hell no one does. How did you find out about this?” I ask, trying to keep my cool with little success.

“Because Shimotsuki happens to own a realtor agency and I bought the whole beach.” He replies calmly and it took a few seconds for that information to process through my brain. He did what?

“You bought them all? How much did that cost you?” I blurt out without thinking and before I could stop myself from saying it, the words just came spurring out but Gino didn’t seem to mind at all. If he did, he hid it well because I can’t tell if he’s displeased or not.

“Not much, it’s not like I couldn’t afford it so why not and it beats having so many thrown out on the streets.” He answers giving me a soft smile and I feel the sudden anxiety go away just as quickly as it had came as I stare into his green eyes. Gino is just so selfless I can’t believe that he did that, he didn’t have to but I’m thankful for what he did.

“You did not have to do that but thank you. You have no idea how much this will mean to everyone but you can’t be serious about not charging rent. Gino?”

I appreciate his act of generosity, I really do but if he is the new landlord of the beach houses he can’t do things like that. It’s not professional of him to do so and I don’t want anyone to take advantage of him for his kindness and not to mention that it would be a good source of income for him. It would also be a lightweight work for him of which I would love for him to have.

“I am serious; call it a New Year’s gift. Everyone deserves a break once in a while.” He answers a bit too carelessly if you ask me but then again this is the guy who has millions in his bank account so I guess he can afford to be careless and do acts of generosity but I don’t want him to rely on that to get by. It won’t change the fact that it’s blood money…

“If this is how you’ll make a clean living from now on, doing freebies isn’t a good start.” I tell him but I guess you can better call it as lecturing instead but it’s true.

“I paid off my dad’s debts, bought the whole beach and did a few more things and it barely showed. I think I’ll be okay with a month of no rent.” He replies.

I don’t think anyone will argue with a month of free rent but I’ll make sure that he does start charging rent in January and continues doing so all year round. I also have a feeling that I’ll have to keep an eye out on Kagari in case he comes up with a bogus story in order not to pay and Shion might try to get a freebie here and there. Gino just seems like the gullible type who would buy whatever sappy story that he’s told about why they can’t pay…

“Anything legal that you do, I’m perfectly fine with but now let me take care of you. You don’t have to do anything else or rely on that large sum of money for support.” I tell him and just then I know I fucked up by the look that he’s giving me. Well not exactly fucked up but Gino doesn’t agree with what I just said but it’s true. I don’t want him to rely on that money and I want to take care of him.

“I’m not weak; I don’t need to be cared for.” He says and moves away from me.

“That’s not what I meant. You’ve been through so much, I just want you to relax now and not stress over anything anymore. You’ve had more than your fair share.” I tell him, trying to fix what I managed to fuck within seconds but Gino starts pacing around the room again.

“Those had been my choices to make. I don’t regret anything and it’s not my cripple.” He admits and I believe his words. It’s not something that he’s ashamed off, he knows what he did and I think it’s something that he uses as his personal strength much to my dismay but I know that I can’t pretend like what he used to do never happen. It’s still a part of him, whether I want to admit it or not.

“I don’t want you to work hard. That’s all.” I reply.

He stops pacing around and gives me a look, clearly not agreeing to what I said just now.

“There are a lot of things that I can do without having to work hard.” He says.

To be honest I was expecting him to lash out at me instead but he remained calm and paces around the room again before sitting down on his old bed which then gives me more ideas and if I could I’d ask someone to give me a slap behind the head for having such a dirty mind but I can’t help but wonder if Gino wants me like I do right now.

“Gino why is it so wrong for me to want to take care of you?” I ask as I slowly approach him and he looks up to meet my gaze.

“Because I don’t want you to lead and I don’t want to lead either. I want to be equal and for you to treat me as such.” He answers.

“I don’t think myself as leading when it comes to taking care of you. I want to take care of you; I want to be the one who works hard just so you don’t have to. I want to provide for you, I just want to take care of the one that I love.” I try to explain, hoping that I don’t sound cheesy but that’s how I feel.

The thing is that I’ve always wanted to wake up in the morning next to the one that I love, admire them as they sleep peacefully and then work hard all day knowing that my love is safe at home relaxing and enjoying life and then coming home to them.

Once I’m home, I’m all theirs and I’ll do anything that they want and if my lover will have it, we could make love every night but if not, I’m perfectly content to only hold them in my arms and we’ll fall asleep together.  

“That’s not exactly fair; I can’t expect you to provide for me when I can do my share.” He says and I can’t argue with that.

“You’re a landlord of three beach houses; I think that’s a large share that you have. Leave the rest to me and besides I know you’ll find a lot to do around the beach landlord.” I reply.

“You won’t take no for an answer will you?” He asks never breaking eye contact.

“Not on this.” I answer back as I extend my hand for him to take as I hear pops call out to us that the food is ready and to come down.

Gino looks at my hand for a second and then takes it and I pull him up to his feet.

“Fine, you win this round…” He says, still holding his hand in mine. Our eyes locked together and I close the small gap between us, gently pressing my lips against his and he returns the kiss and I know that everything will be alright…


End file.
